Bald Movies

Jim and A.Ron don’t just love TV, we also love movies! Join us on Bald Movies where we analyze and make fun of the movies we watch.

Table of Contents

1

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)
Jim and A.Ron took in the psychological thriller "10 Cloverfield Lane", and have a lot to say about the performances, the plot, and the trailers previewing movies we may or may not be interested in. The movie is directed by talented rookie Dan Trachtenberg, and stars Mary Elizabeth Winstead, John Goodman, and John Gallagher Jr, and is being called the "spiritual successor" to the original J.J. Abrams joint, "Cloverfield", whatever the hell that means.

3:10 to Yuma (2007)
Thanks again to The Commissioner himself, Andrew Mount, for turning us on to a classic modern western that we had heretofore completely missed. Directed by James Mangold and adapted from the short story by the late, great Elmore Leonard, it stars Russell Crowe and Christian Bale among many others in a fairly star studded cast. But make no mistake, these two men completely make the picture, and their performances carry the day where logic and reason might fail you. We loved the film, Andrew, and we hope you enjoy the fruits of your latest commission.


A

A Cure for Wellness (2017)
A.Ron and Jim saw A Cure for Wellness, the ambitious but ultimately flawed psychological horror film by Gore Verbinski. It's got a lot of things going for it; a spectacular and committed cast (Mia Goth, Dane DeHaan, Jason Isaacs), great visuals, disturbing imagery galore, yet manages to build very little suspense and ultimately leads up to exactly what you think it will 30 minutes into the film. Which is a problem because you still have two hours of movie left. Ultimately, we can't recommend this film, although we think it was a worthy film making attempt.

A Few Good Men (1992)
Special thanks to our commissioner for today's podcast, Sean Ray. You may recognize him as the man behind such classics as It Follows, and Black Rain, which if nothing else is unique. Today he selects the great A Few Good Men, where a gruff Colonel in the US Marine Corps takes issue with the USMC's kinder, more gentler ways of discipline and organization, leading to the death of one of the men under his command. Tom Cruise and Demi Moore are effective as the counsel for the defense, and are given a lot of juicy material to work with. Written by Aaron Sorkin and directed by Rob Reiner, the script is packed with Sorkinisms and shot with a steady, confident eye. The performances are phenomenal, especially Jack Nicholson's elemental performance of Col. Jessup.
Thanks again, Sean! We had a great time watching the pod and giving it a talk over!

A Matter of Life and Death (1946)
Special thanks to commissioner Jaimie T. for having us check out the classic 1946 British film classic, "A Matter of Life and Death". Featuring a story that pits love against the cosmic law of death, it explores post World War 2 tensions between the England and the Unites States. Both of us see the film's obvious charm; lavish and colorful visuals, inventive special effects and set design, and appealing lead actors. We also have a few third act quibbles and thematic issues, but not enough to sink the film that's been called the "British It's a Wonderful Life".

A Prophet (2009)
Special thanks to Frank Cantelmi for pulling the metaphoric trigger to commission a podcast on "A Prophet", a 2009 French film and Academy Award nominee directed by Jacques Audiard. An intense, beautiful, absorbing look in how a hapless youth is pulled ever deeper into a world of violent crime, Jim and A.Ron compare it favorably to The Godfather, Goodfellas, and Scarface. Yes, really. Thanks again, Frank!

A Quiet Place (2018)
Jim and I went to see the new horror/suspense film, A Quiet Place, directed by and starring John Krasinski, who is joined by his co-star Emily Blunt. Both are extremely effective at wringing genuine fear and emotion from the audience as they interact with a cast of really talented young actors. There are problems we have with the film, some of them big ones, but the bottom line is the movie offers a very unique theater experience, it's extremely tense and scary, and the parts that have to work really work well.

An American Werewolf in London (1981)
This podcast was commissioned as a wedding gift from David Faggiani to his little brother Matt, to celebrate their life-long love affair with the 1981 John Landis horror/comedy "American Werewolf in London". We discuss the awesome practical effects of the movie, the fine line between comedy and absurdity the film walks, Nazi werewolves, the not-so-friendly people you meet in the English countryside, and much more. Congrats, Matt! Hope you and David have fun in Germany!

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)
The third Bald Movie, "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" was an interesting choice for us. Based on the book by the same title, (and screenwritten by the same author), I had started to talk myself into the notion that this movie could be cool; after all, Abraham Lincoln is the kind of historic figure that has the larger than life biography to fit something like vampire hunting into his life's nooks and crannies, the Civil War provides an always fascinating background for great stories to be told, and, you know. Vampires. What did we think in the end?

Aladdin (2019)
If you’re wishing for a three-way review of Disney’s latest live-action adaptation, Aladdin, then listener you’re in luck. Wish granted. Cecily, Jim, and I went to see it tonight with appropriately low expectations, but were very pleasantly surprised at how much fun and energy the movie provided. Better, the script smartly adapted the original, improving it’s pacing while also adding depth to Jafar’s intrigue and Jasmine’s character, making it smarter and more relatable to modern audiences. The Tomatometer is kinda brutal for Al and friends right now (59% as of this writing), so take our review with a grain of salt. And we’re still skeptical of the long term viability of these live-action adaptations, but we feel like this movie is proof that they aren’t necessarily doomed to be pointless wastes of time.

The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
Written Review

Animal Kingdom (2010)
This Australian crime drama from 2010 really snuck up on us. It's not what you might think given only that description, but it delivers the goods. We talk about a mother who kisses her children just a little too long, some of the excellent performances, and how it stacks up against other films in the gangster genre. Fair warning: you should see this movie before listening to the podcast because a) you'll be lost if you don't, and b) much of its value is in that first watch. You've been warned.

Anne of Green Gables (1985)
Super fan Keith Fisher commissioned this podcast on Subbable as a Christmas present for his lovely wife, as it is one of her all time favorite movies. I feel like I'm sliding a large lump of coal down her stocking (hey now!) because it was not Jim and I's favorite movie. But still, we gave it the Bald Move treatment! Are you in the mood for a heartwarming story of a megalomaniac orphan spiritually and emotionally enslaved by a shut in old couple, as she seeks death in ever more creative ways while lashing out in rages against old ladies and class clowns? As if this tale weren't already dark enough, how will this sleepy Canadian community deal with the pedophilic school teacher in their midst? Will Matthew's old heart be able to take it?! (Spoiler alert: It will not.) So, Merry Christmas, Keith's wife! Put down the chalk board and climb down from the roof's edge, I'm sure the rest of your presents will be better…

Alien: Covenant (2017)
Jim and A.Ron have seen Alien: Covenant, and declare it to be gorgeous, ambitious, and filled to the brim lofty ideas, but that it's also really, really stupid. Which is a shame, since that's a flaw that mired it's predecessor, Prometheus. Ridley Scott still knows how to shoot a film, no doubt, but has he forgotten how to put smart, sharply defined characters in peril without them being the dumbest, pettiest, most one dimensional humans alive?

Aliens (1986)
Multiple-commissioner Josh from Saxapahaw, NC is back with another goodie, James Cameron's take on the Aliens franchise. One of the all time great sci-fi action movies, it supplies nearly non stop action with a sturdy heroine to build around, lots of colorful characters to die, implacable, terrifying antagonists, and impressive effect and design work. Plus, we eulogize the late, great, Bill "Tons of Peace" Paxton. Thanks again, Josh, this was a lot of fun!

American Made (2017)
Jim and A.Ron have seen the latest Tom Cruise vehicle, American Made, and it's pretty good! If you haven't seen the past three seasons of Narcos or a "hey, it's fun to watch charming people do really bad things until the third act when it all falls apart" kind of movie you might call it a great film. But we're about weary of the concept and wary of the "based on a true story" nature of the film. But it's pretty good. And Jesse Plemmons reprises his role as "Fat Damon" from Fargo Season 2 out of nowhere! Amazing.

American Psycho (2000)
Today's podcast was commissioned by Rylan, by virtue of his victory in the famed Bald Move Fantasy Football league. To the victor go the spoils, and Rylan has claimed the 2000 slasher/satire/thriller, American Psycho. Directed by Mary Harron and starring Christian Bale, the movie is dark, disturbing, hilarious in places, and provoked a lot of thoughts and opinions from Jim and I. What does it mean to be a sociopath, how much of this film is reality and how much is fantasy, what does it say about society and the conflict between our stated and actual values? Congratulations once again Rylan, we hope you enjoy your trophy.

Annihilation (2018)
We've just seen Annihilation, and boy are our minds blown. Written and directed by Alex Garland and starring Natalie Portman, Oscar Isaacs, Tessa Thompson, and Jennifer Jason Leigh, it features a plot that it is alien, wondrous, unfathomable, and terrifying, with visuals to match. It compares favorably to The Arrival, and is the kind of movie we wanted Alien: Covenant to be. It's just too bad that Paramount had so little faith in the film, in our eyes they had something special on their hands, and we feel sorry for the international audience that is going to see this for the first time on the small screen. For everybody in the US, Canada, and China, go see this film!

Aquaman (2018)
Jim and I missed Aquaman when it first washed up on our shores late last year, but we were lured in by general positive reviews and the massive audience and bank it's pulling in. What did we think? Unfortunately, while it is clearly the second best DCU film after Wonderwoman, in our opinion it's not nearly that good, and is still trying to play catch up to their more marvelous competition. Like a lot of these DC properties, it feels equally rushed and bloated, as if they stuffed three Aquaman movies into one. Any one act of this movie would have made an excellent installment of a kickass Aquaman trilogy, given a chance to breathe and establish their characters our connection to them.

Arrival (2016)
Jim and A.Ron went to see Arrival, starring Amy Addams, Jeremy Renner, and directed by Denis Villeneuve tonight. This is a very hard science fiction story that is told in a very slow, deliberate, and quiet way that might be off putting or tiresome to some. However it contains surprising depth, fascinating ideas, and a powerful emotional payload to those with sufficient patience and interest.

Atomic Blonde (2017)
We saw the new action spy thriller Atomic Blonde tonight, starring Charlize Theron and James McAvoy. We give universal praise to the action and the stars for delivering great performances and believable stunt work. The visual flair of the movie is incredible too. But, we're just not sure about the plot. We might be having a slow night, but we're not sure everyone's motivations and spy stuff work out. And, I'm at least a little bummed that this movie was more gritty and introspective and less fun than the romp I was expecting. Still, with stunt work nestled comfortably between the grounded pummeling of The Bourne Identity and the over the top wet work of John Wick, you owe it to yourself to see it and form your own opinion.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
It took ten years of careful buildup to make the massive undertaking that is Avengers: Infinity War possible, but was all the effort worth it? Hell, yes. This is hands down the most epic comic book film ever made, and it is full to bursting with Marvel Studios hallmarks; funny interactions within the heroes, inventive and imaginative fight scenes, jaw-dropping, awesome world and universe building, and genuine character beats. The final act contains some effective gut punches that Jim and I are both more than a little skeptical of, but in the moment really work well, and can only really be judged after we see what comes next. At this point, I'm not willing to bet against Marvel.

Avengers: Endgame (2019)
Jim and I have seen the climax to a decade's worth of world building in the MCU, Avengers: Endgame, and would like to certify it 100% awesome. Sure, you might quibble with a few cameos you don't recognize, and the more you're capable of rolling with the "Rule of Cool" the more you'll appreciate the spectacle they're putting on screen. But it's hard to imagine any fan of superhero movies not respecting what an accomplishment this is; to get so many people across the globe to care about and invest in these characters through 20+ movies that they'll sit in the dark for 3+ hours laughing and crying with them. How does Marvel top this? Can't wait to find out.


B

Baby Driver (2017)
Jim and I got to see Edgar Wright's newest action/comedy/musical, Baby Driver. And it's glorious. Jim calls it the most entertaining movie of the year. High praise. I was blown away by the nerdy charm and magnetism of Ansel Elgort as the titular Baby. Seriously, he's the perfect young Harrison Ford. I can't believe they apparently cast someone who can't act in the upcoming Han Solo movie, but what are you going to do? See this movie, and imagine if Ansel were cast instead of some forgettable male lead in YOUR favorite movie, that's what I'd do.

Back to the Future (1985)
Special thanks goes to Alafia McMurty for commissioning a podcast on the 1985 sci-fi comedy classic, "Back to the Future". Starring Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd, we've seen this movie a million times and love every second. Please enjoy the following mammoth podcast that covers nearly every aspect of the film, from the absurd to the poignant to the sublime. Thanks again, Alafia! We had a blast watching this and making the resultant podcast.

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)
Jim and A.Ron went to see Bad Times at the El Royale and give it mixed reviews. Writer/Director Drew Goddard throws a lot of slow, character and dialog driven set pieces at the audience, mixed up and out of order, until finishing the movie with a spasm of violence and action. Jim enjoyed the performances and the movie held his interest throughout, whereas I thought the ending didn't do enough to justify the other two hours, and thought a lot of the characters were pretty thin for a dialog and character driven movie. But the film is stylish and slick enough that perhaps you'll be able to forgive it's flaws?

Barton Fink (1991)
Thanks to überfan Anthony Basich who used our Subbable subscription site to commission a personal podcast, for one of his favorite films, the 1991 Coen Brothers film, "Barton Fink". Jim and A.Ron talk about the occasionally dark, occasionally funny, very deep and dreamy, take on the creative process, the Hollywood establishment, the rise of national socialism, the dangers of homoerotic suppression, an expose of ghostwriters, and wait—what the hell? What is this film, anyway? Jim and A.Ron grapple with these issues and more. Hope you enjoyed your podcast, Anthony, and thank you so much for your support!

Batman Begins (2005)
Special thanks to Ethan and Allison for commissioning Batman Begins, the first in the Nolanverse Batman trilogy (you can see our podcast on Batman: The Dark Knight here). This is a fantastic comic book movie that also happens to be a fantastic film in it's own right. We love the fusion of gritty realism with the strong emotional core and exploration of Bruce Wayne and his struggle to walk the narrow path between justice and vengeance. Excellent casting, excellent performances, and while the third act perhaps leaves something to be desired in light of a decade of super hero movies continually trying to outdo themselves in terms of spectacle, the movie holds up like a champ and is an undeniable part of what makes the sequel work so superbly. Thanks again Ethan and Allison! We couldn't do our thing without you!

Batman Returns (1992)
Our Merry Culkin Keatmas jingles on! We've seen the apex of any good Keatmas, Batman Returns, the 1992 follow up to the Tim Burton Batman. What's better than Jack Nicholson as the Joker? Having two classic Bat Villains. The concept has merit, but the execution? It's not as purrrrfect as Catwoman might want. We discuss Keaton's place in the Bat Pantheon, Devito's bizarre, grotesque, Penguin, and the stuff that works in the Catwoman/Batman relationship, and the stuff that doesn't. Stay tuned because we're not quite done, you have one more present left to unwrap! Come back Christmas Eve (Sunday, December 24th) to find it under the tree!
Batman Returns (1992) – LIVEWATCH
Merry Culkin Keatmas begins its third act with the mostly beloved Tim Burton Christmas classic (not that one…), Batman Returns. Does a 1992 Batman movie starring Michael Keaton, Michelle Pfeiffer, Danny Devito, Christopher Walken and Paul Reubens hold up in 2017? There’s only one way to find out and it’s nearly going to kill one of us.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
We review Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. We didn't like it. If you did, I'm really happy for you, but I'd recommend skipping the podcast because we're going to sound like Lex Luthor explaining Greek history, which is to say utterly deranged and insane.

The Beat That My Heart Skipped (2005)
Thanks to Melonusk for commissioning the 2005 french crime drama, De Battre Mon Cœur S'est Arrêté, or The Beat That My Heart Skipped. It tells the tale of a criminal operating in the lowest levels of French crime that has an unexpected opportunity to follow his dreams of being a concert pianist. Pulled in two directions by the expectations of his father and his equally demanding, far less criminal piano tutor, director Jacques Audiard (director of Bald Move fave Un Prophète) finds clever ways of increasing the tension between the two paths that lie open to him. We enjoyed the cyclical themes of father/son, teacher/student, infatuation/love and are once again impressed with Audiard's storytelling ability, even if Jim questions how much story we're actually being told. Thanks again to Melonusk for bringing this great French film to our American eyeballs! Unfortunately our commission queue remains closed to new entries due to back log.

Big Hero 6 (2014)
Jim, A.Ron and an 8 year old boy throw down on Interstellar, Snowpiercer, and Big Hero 6. I'll leave it up to you to figure out who talks what.

The Big Lebowski (1998)
This podcast was commissioned by Michael Johnston for his main main Dave in Philly, and what a podcast it is. Jim and I have the sheer delight of watching the sublime Coen Brothers' 1998 film, The Big Lebowski. One of the forerunners of the "slacker noir" genre, Lebowski is hugely entertaining and surprisingly deep film. We talk about Jeff Bridges magic, new shit coming to light, try to figure out Maude, gush about the late, great, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, the downfall of bowling, and much, much more. So thanks once again to Michael and Dave, for giving us an excuse to really drink this film in.

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
Big shout out to Freddie C, the man with the balls to drive his truck all the way to Cincinnati, grab his knife out of his boot, and tell us how it was going to be. We were going to hop aboard the Porkchop Express and follow him coast to coast, double fisting sandwiches and spitting the truth about life, relationships, big rigs, and Big Trouble in Little China. In short, we would be preaching the gospel of Jack Burton over the CB airwaves. But problems ensued. Chinese monkey predator monsters. Lightning wielding rice patty farmers. Ancient bastards stealing green eyed woman. Smoldering mystical brews. Then it was all over in a blinding flash of white light. What few lunatic ravings that were able to be preserved, are here on this podcast for your enjoyment.

BlacKkKlansman (2018)
Jim and A.Ron went to see Bad Times at the El Royale and give it mixed reviews. Writer/Director Drew Goddard throws a lot of slow, character and dialog driven set pieces at the audience, mixed Spike Lee has thrown a very well made, very funny, and very devastating bomb into American movie theaters with his latest joint, BlacKkKlansman. To mark the occasion, we're not keeping our full review and discussion as a Club Member. Anyone who wants to hear this can. Will White America listen to the message we so desperately need to hear, or hit "snooze" and go back to sleep. What are we going to do about the resurfacing of explicit racism in our country, that has until recent years been hiding beneath the still waters of institutional racism? What will you do with friends and family who bemoan Black Lives Matter, or offer the limp rebuttal that "both sides are bad?" As the movie asks, if not now, when, and if not you, who?

Black Panther (2018)
Ryan Coogler's Black Panther is a great super hero film, and an even better launching point into interesting discussions about the politics of colonialism and liberation. Starring Chadwick Boseman as the Panther himself, and Michael B. Jordan as the best Marvel villain since Magneto, the movie is a constant challenge to one's complacency and sense of justice. Wakanda looks amazing, the cast is fantastic, the world they are building is both visually and philosophically amazing, to the point that one of the films weaknesses is that we were desperate to learn and know more.

Black Rain (1989)
Special thanks to Sean Ray (previous commissioner of the Insidious series, and Blood Simple) for commissioning this late 80's Ridley Scott crime thriller, Black Rain. Michael Douglas plays a cop alongside Andy Garcia that gets mixed up in a gang war between the Yakuza and a rival upstart over counterfeit US currency. The film explores the intercultural exchange as Douglas's corrupt and brash NYC cop runs into the brick wall of Japanese police decorum and honor, but how successful it is in that exploration is an open question. The film is great looking, has some solid action sequences, and hilarious Michael Douglas hair, and it's concepts don't quite stand the test of time. But Andy Garcia's chest hair is magnificent. Thanks again for the commission, Sean!

Blade Runner: The Final Cut (2007)
Special thanks to multi-multi-multi-commissioner Sean Ray for dialing up the number to Blade Runner: The Final Cut (2007). This edition is intended by director Ridley Scott to be the definitive version. The interesting thing is, Jim and I have always been a bit "meh" on the classic Blade Runner experience. Sure, we always saw how influential it is, and could understand why it was highly regarded "for it's day". We both felt like we saw the film with fresh eyes on this cut. There are problems with world building and pacing here and there, but everything tracks so much cleaner, and the third act which was always a standout is now a pure joy. Thanks again, Sean! It's not every day that a commission completely has us do a 180 on a project, this is one of those rare times!

Blade Runner 2049 (2017)
Jim and A.Ron went to see Bladerunner 2049 tonight, what did they think? A.Ron thinks it's amazing, absorbing, and needs multiple viewings to unravel all of it's mysteries, while Jim thinks the same but wishes they'd cut about 20 minutes of Gosling walking down sidewalks and starring off into the distance. And that's probably fair, but then again a somewhat stately, almost glacial pace is kind of a Bladerunner hallmark, no?

Blood Simple (1984)
Sean Ray commissioned one of his favorite movies, the Coen Brothers' 1984 directorial debut, Blood Simple. Starring Coen favorite Frances McDormand, it's an interesting look into the prehistorical fossil Coen record. So many shots and themes established in this first film go on to make up the DNA of their later works. You'll see Fargo, Miller's Crossing, No Country for Old Men, and even a few dashes of Raising Arizona and The Big Lebowski in this film. Having said that, there is a whole helluva lot of 1980's film making and first time directing on display as well. Thanks again for your support Sean! We hope you enjoyed your podcast

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)
Jim and I had a helluva lot of fun seeing the Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody tonight, starring Rami Malek. It's getting mixed reviews, but we're struggling to understand why. Malek does an incredible job embodying the greatest rock band front man of all time, the soundtrack is just literally all of the greatest Queen hits, so what's not to like? Unless the movie tells just truly egregious and hateful lies about Mr. Mercury, which we're not in a position to verify, or the justifiable suspicion around the film's director is souring people's opinion on it, we can't see much not to like.Freddie Mercury is front and center of the stage as he should be, but it does a great job of highlighting the incredible talents and creativity of Brian May, John Deacon, and Roger Taylor as well.

Brave (2012)
Well what do you know? A bonus-bonus cast! Voting was so close for this week's movies we decided to do both, one with me and Jim, and one with NotJim, my girlfriend. As a head strong, rebellious redhead, I thought she could bring some thunder to a cast covering "Brave", which features a head strong, rebellious redhead. Did we strike more Pixar gold, or was this a Cars 2ish lump of coal?

The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind (2019)
We've seen Chiwetel Ejiofor's (star of 12 Years a Slave, Doctor Strange) directorial debut on Netflix, The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind, and found it compelling and enlightening. Based on a true story about a Malawian boy who saves his village from famine with his wits, ingenuity, and education, The Boy offers us an inside look at things we can barely begin to relate to; widespread starvation, civil unrest and the breakdown of society. Things that we may have to relate to sooner than we think.


C

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
Andrew "The Commissioner" Mount has indicated a fifth movie that needs some Bald Move attention, this time the 2012 horror "The Cabin in the Woods". Written by Joss Whedon and directed by long time collaborated Drew Goddard, and staring the Mighty Thor, it was what I would describe as a pleasant surprise. I was prepared for a stock slasher flick, and what I got was… something more than that. Can't really say much else, and if you're a horror fan who somehow missed this, I encourage you to give it a watch before you give this a listen. On the other hand, if you did enjoy the film, I think you'll really enjoy the works of the SCP. Here are a few articles to get you started: SCP-173 - Potential inspiration for the Dr. Who "Weeping Angels"?, SCP-087 - One of the creepier ones, SCP-426 - A good example of a more light-hearted entry, SCP-231 - Genuinely disturbing use of REDACTED, and SCP-294 - A good mix.

Captain America: Civil War (2016)
Jim and A.Ron have seen Captain America: Civil War, and they really, really liked what they saw. It was fun, weighty, maybe a bit long with the usual seeming plot holes (which comic fans can probably fill), but nothing that comes close to threatening to stop the runaway hype train that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. We give you a fairly detailed non-spoiler review, before considering the many highly entertaining trailers that ran up front, and then finally, getting around to our no holds barred spoiler section.

Captain Marvel (2019)
We have seen the latest Marvel super extravaganza, Captain Marvel, and come away with the suspicion that it's missing something from the usual Marvel formula. If anything, it feels DC-esque in the way it's attempting to shoe horn in a new, unknown super power into the MCU. Uninspired fights, plot twists that are seen for miles away, and lacking engaging supporting characters (aside from Jackson's Nick Fury, whom Brie's Marvel has very good chemistry with) that give the main character emotional stakes, Captain Marvel is good, perhaps, but not great, and maybe that's overselling it.

The Circle (2017)
Jim and A.Ron have seen the future, and it is The Circle, and we're not sure if it's good. This movie, or the future. They're both kind of a mess. While extremely well cast and for the most part acted, the basic plot is caught between a cautionary tale, a psychological thriller, and a Young Adult novel, and doesn't manage to pull any facet off well. But it is legitimately thought provoking. You'll find the spoiler section for this movie to be positively chocked full of provoked thoughts, but you'll have to be a Club Member to hear us talk about the tensions between liberty and privacy and our fears for the inevitability of radical transparency.

The Color Purple (1985)
Special thanks to D'Nique G, who commissioned us to watch the 1985 Steven Spielberg film, "The Color Purple", based on the novel by Alice Walker and starring Whoopi Goldberg, Oprah Winfrey, and Danny Glover. While we found some of the tonal shifts and musical choices in the first half bizarre, the movie nevertheless drew us into the story of one woman's triumph over countless adversities, and the ending of this movie has a heart as big, wide, and bright as Celie's smile. Thanks again for your support, D'Nique!

The Conjuring 2 (2016)
A.Ron and Jim saw The Conjuring 2 tonight, and thought it had some solid thrills and chills. We give our overall impressions and review up front, then discuss the many new trailers we saw before the film, before finally getting down and dirty in a no holds barred spoiler section.

Contact (1997)
Did we, in fact, deliver a commissioned podcast on the 1997 Robert Zemeckis science fiction film Contact? Well, all I can say for sure is that we recorded a conversation and released it as a podcast. Your own personal experience with the podcast will have to inform your answer to that question. Special thanks to Henrik Wielechowski who made the inspired choice to pull the trigger on this thought and debate provoking film.

Cowspiracy (2014)
Special thanks to Adele McDonough who commissioned a podcast on the 2014 documentary film "Cowspiracy", available on Netflix and most other streaming services. Produced and directed by Kip Anderson, it alleges a vast conspiracy among big business, politicians, and even environmental special interests groups to bury the severe negative impact the consumption of meat has on our global climate and water supply. Jim and A.Ron check the facts and try to answer some tough moral and ethical questions as we debate the facts, figures, and philosophy of where individual rights and personal choices come into conflict with the greater good and our duties to posterity. Thanks again Adele! We appreciate your support!

Creed II (2018)
Jim and A.Ron got a one-two punch to their sense of nostalgia as Creed 2 relentlessly broke us and a theater full of Rocky diehards down. It should not be possible to build so much pathos and legend on the somewhat shaky foundations of Rocky IV, but we'll be d*mned if they don't. Up and coming director Steven Caple Jr. recaptures the magic of the original Creed, Michael B. Jordan is amazing as always, Sylvester Stallone continues to age like fine wine into the role he was born to play, and Tessa Thompson once again shows that playing a boxer's wife/girlfriend doesn't require you to be a human wet blanket. If you're a Rocky fan, you're going to like this film.


D

The Dark Knight (2008)
Special thanks to a bunch of Aron's gaming buddies, namely Hobbsam, CLUSTER_F, SheIsGeeky, TONYDETH, Jormagund, and Meatplow77 for coming together to commission perhaps the greatest superhero movie of all time, Batman: The Dark Knight. Featuring a Heath Ledger performance that won him a posthumous Oscar, this film has a unique blend of superb writing and direction, dazzling action, well grounded performance, and just enough heart to make it a modern classic. Jim and A.Ron talk about the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy in general, and the Batman himself before lavishing praise upon the film, and of course, poking around for the few problems the film has. Thanks again to Hobbsam, CLUSTER_F, SheIsGeeky, TONYDETH, Jormagund, and Meatplow77 not only for throwing some cash our way, but on a personal note, for being great friends who've drug me through every Destiny raid to date. Thanks!

The Dark Knight Rises (2012) Written Review

The Dark Tower (2017)
We have seen The Dark Tower, being the latest attempt to adapt the works of Stephen King to the big screen. How did it fair? Well… Neither of us have read the novel series that the movie is based on, which seemed to be a plus, because I think we liked it more than most, certainly more than die hard Tower fans. Idris Elba is very, very good, and looks the business as the Gunslinger, and has excellent chemistry with the young boy who holds the fate of multiple worlds in his hands, while Matthew McConnoghey is… fine. Turns out that it's super hard to adapt 7 books worth of lore and world-building into 90 (!!!) minutes of film. Who knew?

Deadpool (2016)
Jim and A.Ron saw the latest kinda-sorta-Marvel movie, "Deadpool", and found it defied their expectations. Rather pleasantly so. What we were expecting is some kind of Dumpuary disaster, and what we got was a slick, action packed, very hard "R", very funny send up of the super hero genre. If you like movies in the "Cranked" franchise, or the latest "Kingsmen" flick, you'll be right at home.

Deadpool 2 (2018)
We have seen Deadpool 2! If you saw Deadpool, and liked it, well, here is more of it. It is arguably even better, or at any rate, just as good. We loved Deadpool, and had an even better time with 2. There are more jokes, more over the top action, better cameos, and truly shocking and original things put on screen that you're just not going to see in other franchises, all done in a very brisk, slick, and above all else, entertaining fashion. The trailer does not ruin this film, there are plenty of fresh jokes and action you've never seen. If you didn't like Deadpool, nothing here is going to change your mind.

Detective Pikachu (2019)
Novice Pokemon Trainer A.Ron is joined by S Rank Trainer Cecily to break down the action in Detective Pokemon. We were both surprised at how straightforward a kids film this was. To be fair, we weren't expecting Deadpool out of a Ryan Reynolds' starring Pokemon film, but parents looking to be thrown an adult bone over the heads of their children are probably going to be disappointed. Still, it's relentlessly, almost threateningly cute, and the more into Pokemon you are the more you'll appreciate the universe and background details they're packing into the scene.

Die Hard (1988)
The Bald Move Bad Ass Christmas rolls on as we take a look at 1998's Die Hard. Starring Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman, and directed by the master of action/thrillers John McTiernan, is explores an eventful Christmas Eve in the life of one John McClane, a hard boiled NYPD detective. In a wide ranging conversation, we discuss the differences between a great movie and an awesome one, Bruce Willis' career, professionalism and consent dealing with actors, and non-traditional Christmas classics in general. Hope you enjoy, and Merry Christmas!
Die Hard (1988) – LIVEWATCH
Come watch the movie with us. If it’s bad, we’ll make fun of it. If it’s good… well, we’ll still make fun of it, just a little less seriously.

The Disaster Artist (2017)
We have seen The Disaster Artist, the behind the scenes look at the creation of The Room, which is quite possibly the worst film ever made. Based on the book of the same name, the brothers Franco play Tommy and Greg in a way that manages to feel honest, sympathetic, and most of all very funny. It is frustrating that there is so little there, there. There is no big revealing answers that make any sense about the deeply weird and enigmatic Tommy, and the friendship between him and Greg also feels like the barest sketch possible to make the film work. But it does work, and like Ed Wood before it, manages to make an amazing movie out of a dog turd. It's an amazing alchemic work, spinning gold from lead. Go see it, regardless of how familiar you are with the source material. You're going to be in for a good time.

Django Unchained (2012)
Much thanks to Steven Sprague, who commissioned us to do a podcast on the 2013 Quentin Tarantino joint, "Django Unchained". Jim and A.Ron talk about the star power, the dialogue, the action, and social issues involved in the making and consuming of Django.

Doctor Strange (2016)
Who can stop Marvel Studios' continued run of Box Office Domination? Apparently not even the forces of the negaverse or whatever the hell Doctor Strange was fighting in this movie, because A.Ron and Jim (yes, even Jim!) ate it up and saw it in two packed houses this evening. Full to bursting with imaginative ideas and visuals that must be seen to be believed, and even then just barely, Doctor Strange is just relentlessly cool and fun. Benedict Cumberbatch leads a team of A-list Hollywood talent using all of their considerable powers to make you believe this world that is full of crazy baloney ideas and imagery is rock solid and every bit as realized as the real world. If you have even a passing interest in comic book movies or just want to see what the new state of the art in terms of effects work is, go see it on the biggest screen you can find.

Donnie Darko (2001)
Special thanks to Dr. Brandon Devito for once again commissioning another great movie for us to gab about, this time the amazingly deep 2001 sci-fi/noodle bender, "Donnie Darko". Or… is it that deep? Maybe it really is just totally straightforward, but so batcrap crazy you're just not prepared to deal with it's frankness? In this podcast, we sort the Manipulated Dead from the Manipulated Living, as we try to get the Artifact back to the Tangent Universe before it's too late. We think. If none of this makes sense, you simply must check out this site, that contains detailed explanations of the movie as well as full text copies of the fictional "Philosophy of Time Travel" contained within the director's cut. Note: We watched the director's cut for this review of the movie. If you're asking me, I'd recommend watching the original version, then the director's cut, and if you find it fun try to puzzle it out because it's all there, and then hit the sites referenced above and see how you did. Thanks again, Doc! We appreciate your support for all we do.

Dr. Strangelove (1964)
Today's commissioned podcast is one for the pantheon, Stanley Kubrick's 1964 masterpiece of satire, Dr. Strangelove. Kubrick set out to make a nuclear thriller, but instead decided to lean heavily into the existential absurdism that was and still is the world's nuclear weapon deterrent, mutual assured destruction. Hey, it's worked for sixty years, let's keep the streak going! Special thanks to our committee of commissioners, "Breaking Bad Fest" Jennie, Gulleen, Manoj, Flash Gordon, Anthony, leaplizard, hiroprotagonist2002, tingudu, Don M, Zack Z, Sean R, and Alex K for making this happen. We loved revisiting this film and it's as funny and relevant today as it was back in '64. Enjoy!

Dunkirk (2017)
We've seen Christopher Nolan's new film, the war epic Dunkirk, and found it hard to immediately react to. It's a very visceral, claustrophobic, unflinching, and moving film, epic in scale, but equally effective in zooming in to focus on a small number of actual human beings to focus on and care about. It offers views of the best and worst of humanity, and constantly dares you to both judge and empathize with the men dealing death and narrowly avoiding it. Another fantastic film from Nolan.


E

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Special thanks to Tyler Shumway for commissioning this podcast, on 2004's Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind. If you haven't seen it, I suggest doing so before you listen to the cast, as it's a neat little movie with a lot of twists and turns that we'll spoil mercilessly. Written by Charlie Kaufman and starring Jim Carey, Kate Winslet, and Elijah Wood among others, it's a meditation on relationships and loss and why sometimes things just don't work out, or maybe they can? We've got our opinions about the answers the movie has to offer, but I imagine there are lots of alternate solutions. Thanks again to Tyler for commissioning Eternal Sunshine, it was great to re-watch and re-visit.

The Exorcist (1973)
Special thanks to Stephen Moore, whose original commission of Home Alone we thoughtlessly trampled upon during our holiday revelries. For his make-good podcast, he has selected the classic 1973 horror film, The Exorcist. Directed by William Friedkin and starring Ellen Burstyn, Linda Blair, Max von Sydow, and Jason Miller, it tells the harrowing tale of a mother who turns to Catholic priests as her last hope when her daughter gets possessed by an ancient evil spirit. I've got to be honest, I was skeptical that the film would hold up, but does it ever. Not only does it still manage to be genuinely disturbing, but it elevates the form of the horror flick into a generally excellent film in terms of art. Thanks again Stephen, we're sorry we stole your Home Alone thunder, but on the other hand, you got the exceedingly rare "two for the price of one" Commissioned Podcast.

The Expendables (2010)
Hey guys, I was digging through our archives and I found a few other movie reviews we did over the past few years. Some of them were bonus-only for the forums we used to have, so they haven't previously been available. I don't know if there is any interest in them, but I didn't want to lose them either, so I'm posting them here for posterity. It's also an interesting glimpse into the evolution of our podcasts…


F

Falling Down (1993)
Special thanks to Ruben from Boston who selected the 1993 Joel Schumacher drama/thriller/anger-porno "Falling Down" as the subject of this podcast. And it got us thinking a lot about where we were when we first saw this movie, and where we're at now, how this film fits into the pantheon of well made, highly regarded films, how it's aged, and what its meanings are. Plus, we do a bonus retrospective of the strange career of wild excess that is Joel Schumacher. Thanks again Ruben!

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
A.Ron, Cecily, and Mine Dragon checked out the latest installment in the Harry Potter universe, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Reactions were a bit mixed, with A.Ron appreciating the humor and whimsy, but ultimately left cold and confused, while the other two HP fans were of the opinion that it felt like a genuine and fitting piece of Potter-style lore.

Fast Five (2011)
It had to be done, folks. Just too high a concentration of badassery, bullshit, and balls to ignore. Jim and A.Ron post up in a local BW to break down the latest installment of insanity that is the Fast & the Furious franchise. Spoiler alert! Cars are driven fast, women's bodies are oggled, nitrous oxide is injected, cocoa butter is applied to arms, chin stubble is sported, and one liners spouted. The audio quality is a little off since we recorded this on my blackberry sitting on a table during game four of the Bulls/ATL playoff series, but it's easy to understand.

The Fate of the Furious (2017)
Jim and A.Ron loved the hell out of The Fate of the Furious, the eight installment in the Fast and Furious franchise. Great characters, great dialog, great action set pieces, fairly plausible and coherent plot (as far as these things go), and some just hilarious, Three Stooges type slapstick action comedy courtesy The Rock and Jason Statham. You either love these movies or have long since outgrown them, but for the people who can tune in to these kinds of demented frequencies, it's top notch entertainment. The best F&F in years, maybe ever.

The Fifth Element (1997)
fully preposterous Luc Besson joint "The Fifth Element", of which Jim and I are very familiar with. We delve into the depths of Jim's annoyance with Ruby, while A.Ron explains how he quit worrying and learned to love the Rodd, Besson's partly crazy, partly insightful look into life in the 24th century, and spend quite a bit of time analyzing the lead actors Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich, and Gary Oldman. Thanks again Aaron!

Fight Club (1999)
Merry Christmas to Daniel L. from Alyssa, David, and Ryan, who joined forced to commission this podcast on 1999's "Fight Club", directed by David Fincher and starring Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, and Helena Bonham Carter. Fight Club is a dark and yet at times humorous look at the savage heart of mankind, and the guys have a lot of thoughts on it's ideas and philosophy, despite the constraints of talking about Fight Club while working within the film's first and second rule. Once again, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to Daniel, and good on Alyssa, David, and Ryan for making it all happen.

The Foreigner (2017)
A.Ron and Jim saw Jackie Chan's return to action form in The Foreigner, a Taken-esque revenge film where a grieving father takes it upon himself to avenge the death of his beloved daughter at the hands of IRA bombers. It's great looking, featuring great performances from both Chan and Brosnan, and Jackie hasn't lost more than a step or two when it comes to the action, fearlessly throwing his 63 year old body all over the screen. What he might have lost in athleticism he makes up for in a ruthless intensity that I don't think I've seen from him.

The Fugitive (1993)
Special thanks to DrKen (previous commissioner of The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance) for commissioning this great thriller from the 90's, The Fugitive, starring Harrison Ford as brilliant doctor wrongfully accused of the murder of his wife evading the dogged pursuit of Tommy Lee Jones as U.S. Marshal. This is one of the tightest films you'll ever see, effortlessly moving from one set piece to another, drawing strength and vitality from the charisma and presence of it's two brightest stars, achieving the rare balance where you want the protagonist and antagonist to find a way to both win. We have fond memories of this film from our youth, and we found it held up like Ford's Finger 'O Doom. Thanks again, DrKen! If you ever have to evade justice, we got a couple of bucks and a bed in the basement for you!

Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Special thanks to Judd Blevins, who as a Marine has a special place in his heart for Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket and thus pulled the metaphoric trigger on this commission. A tale of two movies if there ever was one, and featuring what A.Ron describes as a very "un-Kubrickian" structure and asthetic, they guys talk about life in the military, ethics and morality in times of war, season two of Serial Podcast, and probably ill-informed commentary on geopolitics. If you want to know more, you might want to check out "Born to Kill: The Hidden Meaning Behind Full Metal Jacket" on YouTube, and "The Jungian Thing: Duality in Full Metal Jacket", which is a discussion archived from a newsgroup between several notable creative and critical types. Thanks again, Judd!


G

Ghost in the Shell (2017)
Jim and A.Ron are surprisingly underwhelmed by the live action version of the classic sci-fi anime, Ghost in the Shell. Unimpressive from a philosophic and even action standpoint, both it's ideas and stunts seemed largely tired and less alive than the half human half robot protagonist of the movie. The cast and crew give it a valiant try, but ultimately the slavish devotion to the source material is a millstone around the film's neck that it can never quite shrug off.

Ghostbusters (2016)
A.Ron and Jim review the disgusting, ill-conceived, disgraceful actually quite delightful addition to the Ghostbusters franchise featuring a cast of stellar funny women in Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones, and Melissa McCarthy. The movie delivered solid action and laughs, a few gut busters, inspired performances by a lot of cameo actors who are clearly having a great time, and the correct and satisfying amount of respect and homages to the classic cast, including several nods to the late great Harold Ramis. So, to the dudes that hated on this film from the jump for no other reason than the fact that women had the temerity to re-make it, I got two words for you: Suck it!

Glass (2019)
Woof. Jim and I really, really wanted to like Glass, the sequel to M. Night Shyamalan's terrific Unbreakable, and the surprisingly good / sneaky amazing Split. And it should work. Bruce Willis, Samuel Jackson, and Anya Joy Taylor are good, and James McAvoy does more incredible work as the Horde. But the script is just about the laziest damn thing we've ever seen. Tons of plotholes, characters succeeding not because of their brilliance but others' stupidity, and Shyamalan indulging the worst of his third act instincts torpedo any chance this movie had to kickstart a new cinematic universe, which is it's plain ambition. It's a genuine disappointment, ya'll.

Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
Eric Cunanan commissioned us to watch the classic 1992 drama, Glengarry Glen Ross, directed by James Foley and based on the stage play by David Mamet. If megawatt star power (Al Pacino, Jack Lemon, Ed Harris, Kevin Spacey, Alec Baldwin, Alan Arkin among others), crisp, lyrical, profane dialog, and meditations on the death of the American Dream sound like something you're into, you should give this movie a shot if you haven't already. Thanks again Eric, that was a pleasure to watch and talk about.

The Godfather (1972)
As a special holiday treat, Jim and A.Ron cover one of their all time favorite movies, The Godfather. Be on the look out for their follow up of Godfather II coming out this Friday!

The Godfather: Part II (1974)
Jim and A.Ron do another deep dive into the world of Coppola's The Godfather, this time looking at Part II, which celebrates it's 40th anniversary tomorrow. A darker, more brooding, more intricate film that it's predecessor, we struggle to answer the question, which is better? Along the way we play a lot of what if's and comparisons. Clemenza or Pentangeli? Vito or Michael? Brando or De Niro? When did Vito decide to be the Don? What is Tom and Michael's relationship at the end? Where did Michael go wrong? DID Michael go wrong? All this and much more is contemplated in this mammoth two hour podcast, for your holiday enjoyment. Hope you enjoy listening as much as we enjoyed recording it.

The Godfather: Part III (1990)
Merry Christmas everyone! Jim and I decided to give ourselves and you all a little gift. We're massive Godfather fans, BUT! In spite of, or maybe because of, this fact, we've never, ever seen The Godfather Part III. On one cold and blustery Ohio day last week, we remedied this situation, and recorded our reactions immediately following our first viewing. The result may be a surprise! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to one and all. May 2016 be bigger and better in every way!

Gold (2017)
Jim and A.Ron give their thoughts on a terrible, no good, boring film starring Matthew McConaughey, Bryce Dallas Howard, Édgar Ramírez and directed by Stephen Gaghan; Gold. It's the definition of a mediocre film that half-asses themes that much better films have done very recently, including The Wolf of Wall Street, American Hustle, and The Big Short. We also discuss the upcoming lineup of first run Bald Movies, before getting to the Club only spoiler section. See you in a few weeks for John Wick 2! Spoiler-Free Review: 00:00, Trailers: 06:50, Spoilers: 16:28

The Goonies (1985)
Special thanks to Fernando Rodriguez, who commissioned the 1985 classic kid's adventure movie, "The Goonies". Directed by Richard Donner with a script by Chris Columbus, this movie really brings us back to our child hood days, which leads to us spending time fondly reminiscing about the film and growing up, and of course obsessively picking nits and busting "The Goonies" balls. Which of course, is our mothers' favorite part. Stay tuned til the end as we invite a surprise guest to give their opinions as well! Thanks again, Fernando! We couldn't do it without you.

Grosse Pointe Blank (1997)
Dr. Brandon Devito has commissioned us to watch the 1997 comedy/thriller mashup, "Grosse Pointe Blank", starring John Cusack and Minnie Driver. It tells the tale of a hitman with a troubled conscience, or maybe just a feeling of ennui that has him returning to his home town for his tenth high school reunion and coincidentally reuniting with his old sweetheart. The action is surprisingly great, the sound track is fantastic, the fashion is decidedly 90's, and the tone is quirky and all over the place, but it only hit one of us in just the right place. Thanks again, Dr. Devito!

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
2, and we think it's pretty great. Some debate can be had about whether it's as "good" as the first one, how much of the first's success was due to the surprise delight factor, etc. But at the end of the day it's a really, really good comic book movie, it's fun, it's colorful, it's imaginative, it has the necessary emotional weight to make you connect to the characters and plot, it's impeccably cast with tons of surprise guest spots, and, perhaps most importantly, it's funny as hell.


H

Hackers (1995)
Max commissioned one of his beloved films from high school (shout out to the Class of '95!), Hackers. Directed by Iain Softley and starring Jonny Lee Miller and Angelina Jolie, Hackers is a mostly ridiculous look into mid-90s hacker culture that's core plot is a rehash of Office Space, which is to say it's a rehash of Superman III. We discuss the film as contemporary computer nerds and as grown men looking back at the naivety of early hacker culture and the weird prescience the move shows.

Hail, Caesar! (2016)
We've seen the latest Coen brother's film, "Hail, Caesar!", and it's really… something. Funny, but not hilarious, interesting but ultimately meaningless… or is it? A crazy stew of singing and dancing and politics and religion and featuring more star power than the Milky Way, like most Coen films it will probably reward multiple views.

Hard Boiled (1992) LIVE WATCH
Special thanks to Ajas, who commissioned a very special project; our first commissioned Live Watch! If you don’t know, a Live Watch is where we watch a show and record commentary for it, which you can sync up to watch with us at home with your own personal copy. And this movie is one of the craziest, over the top action films of all time. A John Woo picture, starring Chow Yun-fat, it features a hard-boiled detective desperate to put an end to the violent gang of gun runners who murdered his partner. Boasting an improbably number of bird and bullets, and featuring stunts that are just slightly less lethal than filming actual gun play, the plot makes no sense but the gonzo nature of the film more than makes up for it. You thought Jason Statham’s baby routine in Fate of the Furious was crazy? You haven’t seen nothing! Again, much thanks to Ajas for his patience with us on delivering the project, and for having the audacity to commission it in the first place! We’re still not taking new commissions, but stay tuned to this feed for the latest on when and how we’ll be taking new ones…

Hardcore Henry (2016)
The Russian import "Hardcore Henry", directed by Ilya Naishuller and starring Sharlto Copley and Haley Bennett, is either some brilliant, imaginative, humorous, over the top action flick, or it is an over-long, boring, tedious, graphic waste of time that may or may not make you physically ill. Or maybe it's both? Jim and A.Ron debate the film's merits accordingly.

Hellboy (2019)
Jim and I saw the Neil Marshall helmed, David Harbour starring 2019 reboot of Hellboy. And it's the definition of a mixed bag. Sporting an impressively low 11% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, Jim thought the movie was bad, but I borderline loved it. I have no explanation for my critical disparity, and I can see the issues with plot and humor that Jim and others are expressing but… I've seen a helluva lot of worse movies this year get better reviews. Am I losing my touch? Or do you just have to be a die hard Hellboy fan to admire what this movie has to offer? It's a damn shame, because while I think everyone can agree that Harbour makes an excellent Hellboy, the movie isn't likely to get the sequel his casting deserves.

Hell or High Water (2016)
Special thanks to Lindsey Blodgett, who commissioned this podcast by virtue of captaining her Bald Move Fantasy Football League team, "Vamonos Pests" to ultimate victory. She claims a podcast for 2016's Hell or High Water, as her prize. A modern western about bankers robbing the poor of their land and property rights, Hell stars Chris Pine and Ben Foster as outlaws who plan to rob the banks back. They are opposed by Texas lawman Jeff Bridges, who dusted off his Rooster Cogburn character from True Grit to tell this minimalist morality play with some surprising emotional depths. This film is a real showcase for the actors involved, and the performances and dialog are Hell's foremost charm; it was written by Taylor Sherridan fresh off his WGA win for Sicario.
Thanks again Lindsey! And congrats on your victory.

Highlander (1986)
Special thanks to our buddy Jason Shankel hailing from the Nattercast for commissioning this podcast for the 1986 sci-fi action fantasy film Highlander, directed by Russell Mulcahy and starring Sean Connery and Christopher Lambert. Jason and his friends also did a deep dive on Highlander, so please check that out if you're looking for a very affectionate and informed take from life-long fans of the franchise. As for us, we thought Highlander was cheesy fun. The film boasts an excellent soundtrack, exciting and varied sets for the extended sword fights, and some of the sturdiest and most interesting fantasy bones to hang a franchise on. We walk away wondering why hasn't anyone rebooted this? Thanks again to Jason and his crew over at Nattercast. And please check out their deep dive on Highlander. It's highly informative and entertaining!

A History of Violence (2005)
Special thanks to Keith Alejandro who pulled the trigger on this Commissioned Podcast, covering the 2005 David Cronenberg directed thriller, "A History of Violence", starring everyone's favorite ranger, Viggo Mortensen. Jim and A.Ron talk about the multiple meanings of the title, the human capacity for violence, survival of the fittest, the strong's societal obligation to the weak, and how sea turtles make surprisingly effective, though extremely cruel, living refrigerators.

Holy Smoke (1999)
Many thanks to Em from the No Ship Network (purveyors of fine podcasts on Vikings, Spartacus, Penny Dreadful, and more) for commissioning this podcast, covering the 1999 psycho-sexual drama, "Holy Smoke". Directed by Jane Campion ("The Piano", Top of the Lake") and starring Kate Winslet and Harvey Kietel, it starts off as an intriguing and campy telling of a young girl being deprogrammed from a cult experience, and then… turns into something else entirely. Lots of at times uncomfortable discussion about power imbalances in relationships, masculinity and femininity, and what we're supposed to take away from the film, if anything. Thanks again, Em! It was an experience worth experiencing! If you're curious about the film, it is available on Netflix, Amazon, and iTunes for streaming.

Home Alone (1990)
Merry Culkin Keatmas! This is of course our follow up podcast to the LiveWatch of Home Alone, in which we take issue with our old pal Roger Ebert's dour review of the film, trade trivia about the film, and in general talk about why it's one of our very favorite Christmas films. We're not done wrapping presents and putting them 'neath your digital tree! Not by a long shot. Come back next week as we put the Keaton back in Keatmas with Batman Returns!
Home Alone (1990) – LiveWatch
Merry Culkin Keatmas! Our second movie is the 1990 holiday classic / child torture porn flick Home Alone. We think it’s awesome and holds up like a champ, others who are wrong disagree. Use our LiveWatch to sync up our commentary with your copy of Home Alone and laugh and groan along with us!


I

The Imitation Game (2014)
This podcast for 2014's "The Imitation Game" was commissioned on Subbable by a shadowy MI6 agent who for reasons of operational security, would prefer to remain anonymous. We have seen the film, and we have very mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, it is an artistic and emotional triumph, which really helped us empathize with Alan Turing's life long struggle as a brilliant autistic homosexual man to be accepted and loved as he led the Allied war effort to break the "unbreakable" Nazi Enigma encryption system and save millions of lives. On the other hand, the film takes so many personal and historical liberties with Turing's very real life and the very real Project Ultra that we don't know what to believe. If, like us, you are moved to know more about Turing and / or Enigma, might I suggest some of these links for reading: An Alan Turing Expert answers your questions about the film, "The Imitation Game", Alan Turing: The Enigma - The book the film is loosely based on, A Poor Imitation of Alan Turing, How Accurate is "The Imitation Game"?, and "Codebreaker" - A TV movie based on Alan Turing.

Inception (2010)
Hey guys, I was digging through our archives and I found a few other movie reviews we did over the past few years. Some of them were bonus-only for the forums we used to have, so they haven't previously been available. I don't know if there is any interest in them, but I didn't want to lose them either, so I'm posting them here for posterity. It's also an interesting glimpse into the evolution of our podcasts…

Incredibles 2 (2018)
Cecily and A.Ron are back to discuss Incredibles 2, a sequel that's been a long time in the making. Brad Bird returns to direct the original cast and some fun new cameos. If you liked Incredibles, this is more of it in every way. More supers, bigger action scenes, more Mr. Incredible angst, super teenage dating, and the best animal control scene in movie history. The script is literally the same script from the first, with the same twist at the mid-way point, but the plot is really secondary to the pleasure of watching the characters metaphorically and literally bounce off each other.

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)
Jim and A.Ron have seen the latest potential summer blockbuster; Independence Day: Resurgence, and found it roughly as dumb as it's predecessor but minus quite a bit of the humor, charm, and charisma of the original.

Insidious (2010)
Special thanks once again to Sean Ray (veteran commissioner of Blood Simple) for having us check out an early effort by horror master James Wan (The Conjuring), 2010's Insidious. Starring Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne, Insidious delivers some solid scares on a serious budget, reportedly just $1.5 million. This is the first of a two part commissioned podcast series. Next, we will consider the sequel, Insidious 2, and compare and contrast the two. Thanks again Sean!

Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)
Sean Ray is back with the second half of his two part Insidious series, this time for Insidious: Chapter 2. Once again James Wan helms another scary story starring Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne, with a bigger budget, a clever plot that builds on everything from the first installment, to deliver arguably a more frightening experience with even more emotional heart. Thanks again Sean!

Interstellar (2014)
Jim, A.Ron and an 8 year old boy throw down on Interstellar, Snowpiercer, and Big Hero 6. I'll leave it up to you to figure out who talks what.

IT (2017)
A.Ron and Cecily file a belated report on the smash hit horror movie based on the best selling Stephen King novel of the same name, "IT".

It Follows (2014)
extremely clever and inventive horror flick written and directed by David Robert Mitchell. It has big ideas, and while it struggles to live up to them in places, the concept and performance of the plucky cast of likable yet relatively obscure young actors really makes the film shine. It's fun to watch, it's fun to think about, and it's fun to talk about. How would you survive being hunted by "It"? That and a few beers is a topic that can easily kill a whole evening of hanging with your friends. Thanks for the awesome commission, Sean! Our commissioned queue is still closed for the time being, but stay tuned for our plans for commissioned podcasts in the near future. Also, if you're looking for more discussion of It Follows, Cecily and I made it part of our first annual Cinematic Spooktacular!

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
We wrap up the Christmas festivities with a true classic - It's a Wonderful Life. It's one of the most beloved Christmas movies ever made, full of warmth and cheer. But just maybe there's more to it.


J

Jackie Brown (1997)
Special thanks to all our community commissioners for this podcast; Steven Sprague, Spencer H., Libby Ross, dreduble, Cellmouse, Brooks Rittel, betmarik, cocoa2mc, nobrainsallsadness, Martin Karlsson, Eric Brown, rjjone2, and Keith A. This podcast is for the 1997 Quentin Tarantino movie Jackie Brown, which is based on the classic Elmore Leonard novel, Rum Punch. Awfully good bones to build a movie on, then you add an amazing cast featuring Pam Grier, Robert DeNiro, Sam Jackson, Bridget Fonda, Robert Forster, Michael Keaton, among many others, and filter it through a restrained, grounded Tarantino lens, and you get something pretty magical, that was beyond what Jim and I were expecting. Thanks again for treating us to this movie! We hope you enjoy your podcast!

Jack Frost (1998)
The Merry Culkin Keatmas rages on with our podcast that brings the Keaton to Keatmas, 1998's box office bomb, Jack Frost. The film isn't great, but we managed to extract a surprising amount of fun and holiday cheer from it. Enjoy! And don't forget Lunch coming this Friday! Next week we'll tackle Home Alone with both LiveWatch and podcast. See you then!

Jason Bourne (2016)
Jim and A.Ron have seen the latest film in Matt Damon's action spy thriller franchise, Jason Bourne, and find it reasonably Bourney, but missing a lot of the improvisational, desperate charm of the earlier installments, and missing a lot of its heart.

JFK (1991)
In our opinion, the movie is a work of pure flim-flam. However, it's also one of my favorite movies to watch, because it's a really well done, and interesting piece of flim-flam that belies it's crazy long run time and features Oliver Stone using every last ounce of his considerable film-making skill to confuse, beguile and bedazzle his audience. This movie is so star studded that few films are capable of approaching it on acting wattage alone. The sound track by John Williams hits all the right notes, from sweaty, cigarette-hazed and mentally crazed late night conspiracy theories to soaring patriotic hymns. Aside from it being, you know, mostly fiction, we're also uncomfortable with the Grand Gay Conspiracy angle that's being pushed. But it also sparks a lot of conversation about conspiracies in general, America's uncomfortable relationship with Vietnam and the truth, and just why the hell is material related to the JFK assassination still classified, anyway? Thanks again to Sean Ray, for this and his many other commissions. We appreciate your incredibly generous support, Sean!

Jingle All The Way (1996)
A.Ron and Jim take in a Schwarzenegger film that we don't have that much experience with, 1996's Jingle All The Way, as the Bald Move Bad Ass Christmas continues. What on the surface is a light hearted tale with decent to good performances hides a deeper, darker secret that exposes everything wrong with the increasing consumer culture encroaching on everything that is good about the observation of Christmas. The boys spend time grapling with that, and discuss Arnold's career in general, and Phil Hartman's shamelessness, before things devolve into reindeer punching.
Jingle All The Way (1996) – LIVEWATCH
Come watch the movie with us. If it’s bad, we’ll make fun of it. If it’s good… well, we’ll still make fun of it, just a little less seriously.

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)
Jim and A.Ron have seen John Wick: Chapter Two, and proclaim it "more of the same", and we mean that as a compliment. There's still some shaky plotting when the action dies down, but thankfully that only happens for five, maybe ten minutes tops and then it's back to headshots and stabbing galore. This film's body count is astronomical, and if you can't find some sort of grim humor in Keanu butchering men and women like so much cattle, then this isn't the film for you. But you probably already knew that.

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019)
Jim and I take a belated look at the latest installment in the John Wick saga, Chapter 3: Parabellum. JW3:B, has some of the finest action sequences we’ve ever seen, but it’s also rapidly approaching diminishing returns in terms of quantity over quality. We’re all for combat innovations including insane knife work, horse and dog augmented combat, and up-armored adversaries, but there’s only so many times you can watch Keanu kill a guy with a gun before you start checking your watch. With John Wick 4 looking to keep upping it’s ante, is this momentum sustainable? We’ll look forward to finding out!

Justice League (2017)
Cecily and A.Ron discuss the latest DC comic book movie attempt, and one with a lot of hopes riding on it, Justice League. It's a real who's who of comic book movies, does it manage to build on the momentum of the very good Wonder Woman, or is this another Superman vs Batman level disappointment? Well, we'd have to say it falls right in between those two extremes. It's not great, but it's also not terrible, and does just enough to hopefully give DC some room to breathe and establish these other presumably great characters in their own films and organically setup their universe for the next time the League has to assemble.


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Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)
stupid than the first one, but also maybe not reaching quite the dizzying heights of crazy either. But everyone in the movie looked like they were in on the joke and having the time of their lives, which helps tremendously. Everyone looks like a million bucks, the stunts are awesome and entertaining, and there are great cameos and dare we say smart payoffs to stupid jokes from the previous film. You probably already know if you're going to see this movie or not, and if so, relax, you're going to have a good time.

Kong: Skull Island (2017)
Jim and A.Ron have seen the majestic Kong: Skull Island, and are… not underwhelmed. Not overwhelmed, certainly. I'd say we were properly whelmed. This is an expensive, state of the art monster movie, and delivers the goods that you were expecting. Unfortunately, 90% of its best moments are captured perfectly by the movie's trailer, which is a shame, and maybe we shouldn't judge it for that, but there it is.


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Laura (1944)
Special thanks to Sarah Sugas for commissioning 1944's Laura, a film-noir set around a hard boiled detective attempting to solve the mystery other murder of a remarkable young woman.

The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (2019)
Jim and A.Ron have seen The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part and it's almost if not just as good as the first one. Father/son relational dynamics take a back seat to big bro/little sis dynamics for the sequel, but Everything Remains Awesome. This movie is bright, colorful, funny, inventive, and packs a lot of heart. Go see it unless your inner child is dead and your heart is gripped by icy black despair. In which case I'd recommend The Lego Batman Movie, instead.

The Little Stranger (2018)
Jim and I had high hopes for the Gothic horror film, The Little Stranger, thinking it would be an ultra atmospheric mash up of The Witch with Downton Abbey. Instead, we got a commentary on upper class angst during the 1940's as their fortunes crumbled alongside their estates masquerading as a dull, drab little ghost story. At no point does the film ever manage to generate anything but mild disquiet and malaise. Which is a shame, because all the pieces were there for genuine horror. An interesting core idea, excellent cast, excellent location, and fantastic atmosphere that were all unfortunately squandered with disinterested filmmaking.

The Lives of Others (2006)
Nicholas Ragovis / AKA Doctor_Nick, victor of the Bald Move Fantasy Football League, has come to claim his spoils; a commissioned podcast! He has a great film for us, the 2006 German film The Lives of Others. Written and directed by Henckel von Donnersmarck, the movie offers a look into the brutal repression and paranoia of the East German State Police during the 80s, and the effects it had on the lives of those that had to live under it. But there is hope in the form of a Stasi captain that has to confront his own conscious and humanity during an assignment to monitor an esteemed playwright. This movie has us thinking about totalitarian regimes past, current, and future, the strength of the human spirit, and how we as citizens need to keep the hands of the joyless off the levers of state power.

Logan (2017)
Jim and A.Ron are very impressed with the swan song for Hugh Jackman's Wolverine in Logan. It's a great film, nevermind a great comic book movie, drawing on our long history with the tortured Wolverine and Patrick Stewart's equally iconic Charles Xavier to generate real emotion as these men struggle at the end of their days. They're both resigned to run away from a world where mutants are a dying species until a young girl with very Loganish gifts is dropped on their doorstep, alone and need of guidance and protection. What follows is gritty, unbelievably violent, and undeniably touching. A fitting final tribute for one of the hardest working men in the comic book movie biz.

The Lost Boys (1987)
Special thanks to Saylor from Santa Cruz, the latest Bald Move Fantasy Football champ to claim their prize for winning the league. Emerging from the pile victorious, he has selected the 1997 vampire flick, The Lost Boys. Helmed by Joel Schumacher and chocked equally full of cool and hilarious moments and extremely questionable decisions, the film manages to confound and delight. Why is 16 year old Corey Haim taking baths and being tucked into bed by his mother? Why is there a shirtless oiled up, muscle bound sax player? Why is Rob Lowe gazing seductively from Haim's bedroom closet, and more importantly, why is Jim completely oblivious to his siren's call? Is the grandpa a vampire or what? All these questions and more are explored in the depth to which they deserve.


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Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981)
Thanks to Anthony Basich for commissioning this podcast, and quite frankly, changing our entire mind about the Mad Max franchise. We think 1981's "The Road Warrior", directed by George Miller and starring Mel Gibson, is awesome, and stands up to any of it's 80's action movie brethren in a competition about holding up and entertaining a modern audience. We discuss feral kids, post-apocalyptic sexuality, the economics of a refinery under constant attack, working with animals in the movies, and much more. Thanks again to Anthony B.

Magnificent Seven (2016)
What do you get when you take the classic Western remake of a Japanese film about honor, courage, and justice,then add modern film making magic, plus Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, Vincent D'Onofrio, and Ethan Hawke to the mix? A sum that is less than it's parts, that's what.

Magnolia (1999)
Special thanks to Lauren, Anne, and Rick who chipped in to commission this podcast on Magnolia for Alex Myers as a Christmas (!!!) present. Jim and I had never seen Magnolia, the Paul Thomas Anderson classic before now, and wow is it a doozy. Starring greats such as William H. Macy, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Julianne Moore, to name just a few, it involves a day in the life of a dozen or so characters on a collision course with fate and coincidence, and what they'll learn about themselves and each other along the way. Fueled by raw emotion and melodrama, we were intrigued by the complex tale being woven before our eyes. If you haven't seen it, check it out before we spoil it for you on this podcast, because it's an amazing film. Thanks again Lauren, Anne, and Rick! We couldn't do it without you

Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again (2018)
Cecily and A.Ron have seen the sequel to one of their favorite movies, Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again, and we think if you're a fan of the original, there is a lot for you to like here. It's too damn bad the trailers spoiled a reveal that would have otherwise brought the house down, and the first half of the movie might have you worried a little bit. But by the time you hit the half way mark you're going to laugh and cry so much who even cares what happened in the first act! There are tons of surprises and twists and crowd pleasing moment, the cast is having way too much fun, the big musical numbers are bright and colorful and kinetic… I could go on and on, but the bottom line is we left the movie with a big smile on our faces and red rims around our eyes content. Can't wait for the Blu-Ray to come out so I can watch it a dozen more times..

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)
Special thanks to Dr. Ken for the gutsy call to have us do a commissioned podcast for a black and white 60's Western film, "The Man Show Shot Liberty Valance". Directed by the great John Ford, and starring John Wayne and Jimmy Stewart, this movie is both insanely fun to watch and, believe it or not, serves as a great primer on American politics. It might just be the tonic you need during an especially intense political season. And I can't stress this enough, this film is crazy entertaining. If you care at all about Westerns or classic Hollywood film-making, and haven't already, make the time to watch this film. Thanks again, Doc!

The Man from Earth (2007)
Thanks go to Dan G, perhaps better known as the forum denizen DancesWithWookies, has selected the 2007 minimalist sci-fi/philosophic film "The Man from Earth" for his commissioned podcast. Directed by Richard Schenkman and written by the late Jerome Bixby, it asks us to entertain the idea of a 14,000 year old paleolithic man who has managed to adapt and survive to our modern day. His winding tale through history may intrigue or infuriate you, depending on your appetite for detail or willingness to engage with the ideas and concepts of the film, and move beyond the limitations of it's budget and construction. A.Ron thinks that if you find the film intriguing, you man enjoy Christopher Moore's "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff", which is a more lighthearted, yet deeper dive into one of the film's core theories. Thanks again for sharing your movie with us, Dan!

Mandy (2018)
Mandy is a film by Panos Cosmatos starring Nick Cage. It is both a slow burn, 70's style horror film dipped in acid, and a gonzo Nick Cage action film. It continually suffers from being torn in these two very different directions. A.Ron dug it, Jim wants nothing to do with it. This film boasts near universal acclaim on Rotten Tomatoes and yet is a tough one to wholeheartedly recommend.

The Martian (2015)
Jim and A.Ron saw Ridley Scott's "The Martian" last night, starring Matt Damon, and have a lot to say about it. Note, the first part of the podcast is spoiler free, but then when we say we're about to spoil things, that's your cue to get out while the getting is good.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)
and Commander: The Far Side of the World, directed by Peter Weir and based on the Patrick O'Brian series that is my very favorite books of all time. Thank god Jim thinks it's awesome too, or there might have been bloodshed. We discuss the film's historicity and verisimilitude, the unique relationship between Captain Jack and Doctor Maturin, life aboard an 19th century Man o' War, and I make a pitch for reading the original novels towards the end. Thanks again Steven and Mozbeet, this was a real treat!

The Matrix (1999)
Thanks to Jefferson Betmarik for making us pull 1999's The Matrix off our shelves and talk about it. This movie was directed by the Wachowski siblings, and stars Keanu Reeves, Lawerence Fishburne, and Carrie-Anne Moss among others. Jim and I have watched this movie so much, and spent so much time talking about it over the years, so it's no surprise that we were able to easily fill 1:20 with our personal thoughts and observations. What surprised is was how many new thoughts and ideas we had from our latest watch. We had a lot of fun revisiting the movie, and I hope you get a kick out of listening. Thanks again, Jefferson!

Mean Girls (2004)
Special thanks to Dr. Brandon Devito, Bald Move's favorite dentist, for commissioning our latest podcast, "Mean Girls", on behalf of his daughter, Carmen. "Mean Girls" screenplay was written by the great Tina Fey, and has a lot of star power, with Lindsay Lohan being joined by Rachel McAddams, Lacey Chabert, Amanda Seyfried, Tim Meadows, and Tina Fey pulling double duty. It's smart, funny, and offers an insightful look into the dynamics of the high school experience from a female perspective. Who better to commentate on it than two 30 something guys who don't have daughters?

Memento (2000)
Special thanks once again to Andrew "The Commissioner" Mount, for having us do the 2001 Christopher Nolan movie, "Memento"…starring Guy Pierce and Carrie-Anne Moss, Memento is an engaging, cerebral, well crafted thriller mystery with an ingenious plot device that plays with our sense of memory and time. We both highly recommend you see this movie before listening to the podcast, as the first time viewing experience of this movie is hard to beat, and it's an excellent film. If you can find it please give it a shot and then come back and see what we had to say about it.
Thanks, Andrew, that was fun and intellectually stimulating!

Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018)
Jim and A.Ron have seen the latest "how old is Tom Cruise again?!" installment of the Mission: Impossible franchise, "Fallout", and it's crazy. The plot around the absolutely bonkers stunt work is a bit thin, but the stunts themselves fully justify the movie. You can see ever dollar spent and bone broken literally up there on the screen, but it also must be said that these stunts are clinging desperately to the line from believable to unbelievable. And half the time they are careening over that line and land into Fast & Furious territory. Unless they can find an emotional core to build future episodes, this might be as good as a retro-futuristic spy thriller can get.

Moana
A.Ron's son Mine Dragon swung by the studio over the holiday break to record his thoughts on Star Wars: Rogue One, the infamous "Holiday Special" (00:09:20), and Disney's latest CGI masterpiece, Moana. Enjoy!

Mother! (2017)
Jim and A.Ron have seen Darren Aronofsky's newest film, Mother!, and A.Ron hates it while Jim isn't sure. But it's rated 78% on Rotten Tomatoes, so don't let us put you off it. It's a piece of art, and it makes you feel things, that's for sure. Oh, by the way, if it hasn't been clear, me — that is to say, A.Ron — is the guy who writes all of these little stub articles that no one reads and I'm still kind of angry and raw that I sat through this film, so I'm going to see myself out.

Mulholland Drive (2001)
Jim and A.Ron tackle yet another community podcast commission, this time for the David Lynch movie, "Mulholland Drive". Things get weird as we experience every human emotion possible and struggle to figure out what the hell just happened. Just know that this podcast is not meant to be interpreted literally, but to be emotionally intuited experientially. Special thanks to the crew who combined their wallets, Captain Planet style, and summoned this podcast; Anthony B, Mike T, Davey Mac, Ryan Q, Rachael H, galicia73, Fidoz, Jefferson B, hellogoodbye9, cocoa2mc, Martin K , Michael T, Joby M, and Walker W.

The Mummy (2017)
Jim and A.Ron checked out the summer action/horror/Tom Cruise vehicle, The Mummy. A.Ron thinks it's dumb, but fun, and draws comparisons to Stargate, American Werewolf in London, Hellboy, and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Jim thinks it has the kind of fun, swashbuckling, scoundrel flavor found in the Uncharted video game series. So is it a successful start to Universal's ambitious interconnected monster saga, Dark Universe? We'll have to see how much money it makes.

Muppets Most Wanted (2014)
Surprise! Another sneak attack podcast, as I sit down with my seven year old son to review one of this weekend's new releases, "Muppets Most Wanted". We also compare it against "The Lego Movie" to wrap things up. Light muppet-related spoilers ahead!

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)
A.Ron and Jim saw the most recent film adaptation of the Agatha Christie mystery classic, Murder on the Orient Express. Directed and starring Kenneth Branagh, as well as a baker's dozen other stars, is lush and lavish and maybe missing a few pieces it needs to be assembled into a fully functional whole? It's like an Ikea bookshelf with a few screws and dowel rods missing, is what we're saying. We discuss our general, non-spoiler thoughts before talking about upcoming films, before getting to our Club Member only spoiler section.


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Natural Born Killers (1994)
Christmas, by having us chat about her personal favorite movie, Oliver Stone's 1994 film, Natural Born Killers. We found this movie to be wonderfully cast (Woody Harrelson, Juliette Lewis, Robert Downey, Jr., Tommy Lee Jones, Tom Sizemore, among others) and fully insane in it's direction, visuals, editing, and message, and thus spent about half our time talking about the film itself, and the other half pondering the human condition. Jason, Aime, hope you two crazy love birds enjoy this commission, and if either of you start talking about being the god of your world, back out of the room slowly. Make no sudden movements.

Need For Speed (2014)
Surprise! Our love for Aaron Paul led Jim and me to go see his new vehicle, "Need For Speed" on opening night! Wise decision?

The Nun (2018)
but only one of us needed to. The film's getting mixed reviews; and Jim worries that co-writer James Wan's bag of tricks are getting played out and the movie suffers from inconsistent internal logic. Perhaps I'm the biggest wuss alive, but the movie got my hair standing up on the back of my neck fairly consistently. Your mileage may vary!


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Ocean’s 8 (2018)
A.Ron and Cecily are back to take in Ocean's 8, where Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchett head up a team of shady ladies as they aim to steal six pounds of diamonds off the neck of Anne Hathaway while she attends the annual Met Gala. The movie, directed by Gary Ross, looks great, is a lot of fun, but doesn't really cover much new ground or stray outside the Ocean's lane that's been well established. Still, everyone is having a lot of fun, there are a lot of cool cameos, New York looks gorgeous, the series trademark swanky soundtrack is intact, and the third act impresses enough to have us interested in an Ocean's 9.

Once Were Warriors (1994)
Jude from New Zealand shows some homeland pride by selecting the incendiary Kiwi film from 1994, "Once Were Warriors", for her commissioned podcast pick. Directed by Lee Tamahori and starring Temuera Morrison and Rena Owen, it features a soul destroying portrait of life for a Maori family living in the slums of Auckland. The picture pulls no punches, and yet manages to be thought provoking, sympathetic, and even uplifting and hopeful, assuming you calibrate your definition of "uplifting" and "hopeful" to David "The Wire" Simon settings. We simply are blown away by the performances of everyone in this film, particularly Morrison who plays the extremely charismatic, extremely violent Jake "the Muss", and are intrigued by the examination of domestic violence, crime, and racial issues as seen through the very distinct lens of New Zealand. An excellent choice, that I am glad I got to see. Good luck finding a copy of the film unfortunately. It's out of print and not streaming anywhere we could find in the States, although I'm sure an enterprising individual can find a copy here and there. Also I'm told it's currently streaming on Australian Netflix. Thanks again Jude, we're glad for your support.

Overlord (2018)
Another split decision on the latest first run Bald Movie, the WW2-themed action-horror film, Overlord. The serious and somber tone set against the gonzo and outrageous action quickly lost Jim. I thought the film delivered a pretty solid war film, followed by a tense and effective horror film, then rounded into a solid action romp that unfortunately started collapsing under the weight of too many action movie tropes. Still, the war scenes are more horrifying than most supernatural spookfests, the characters while basic are appealing, and the effects gruesome and effective enough to deliver the goods, especially if you can turn your brain off for the last act.


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Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018)
Jim and I saw a movie about giant robots punching even bigger monsters, and it was even dumber than we thought it would be. Jim and I have no small amount of affection for the first Pacific Rim. But hoo-boy, Pacific Rim: Uprising might up the robot on monster punching action slightly, but removes all of the spunk and charm of the original to give us a loud, boring, and thoroughly by the numbers action movie. My 11 year old loved it, though, so if you have one of those around, or are one of those in heart and mind, by all means, don't let us stop you from seeing Pacific Rim 2. Everybody else should steer well clear.

Pet Sematary (2019)
A.Ron and Jim talk about the latest attempt at a Stephen King adaptation, Pet Sematary. The movie is genuinely scary and horrifying when it wants to be, unfortunately in our opinion they squander a lot of time and goodwill in the first act flailing about conceptually which keeps us from connecting with the characters and setting the way we should. But still, the family dynamics, endangered children, and a great Jon Lithgow performance does just enough to sell us when things that were better off left dead aren't.

Polar (2019)
Jim and I have seen the new Netflix original movie, "Polar". Based on a graphic novel of the same name, "Polar" is an ultraviolent revenge flick combining elements from "John Wick", "Crank", and "Sin City" with an engaging and energetic performance from Mads Mikkelsen as anaaginh hitman. Unfortunately, it's also a tonal mess, careening from slap stick humor to gory horror and back again, never sure of when to take itself seriously and commit to a point of view.

Pontypool (2008)
Josh Black stepped forth to commission the mind blowing 2008 film, Pontypool. Starring the very underrated Stephen McHattie, and directed by veteran cult filmmaker Bruce McDonald, Pontypool is set in a small Canadian town where a humbled former shock jock takes on the job of talking about the sleepy local news in the wee hours of the morning. And then something big happens. I really can't tell you more without spoiling a great film that should be seen by a lot of people, and right now you can see it streaming from among other places, Netflix, so I encourage you to give it a whirl before listening to this podcast. Things get crazy and "deep" in the way things sometimes do on these podcasts. Do not translate this message. Thanks again, Josh, that was a crazy time you treated us to!

The Post (2017)
We saw The Post tonight, the star-studded retelling of The Washington Post's decision to publish the Pentagon Papers, the internal history commissioned by the Dept. of Defense that detailed the long list of failures in America's involvement politically and militarily in Vietnam, risking financial ruin and jail time. Told from the perspective of the owner of the Post, Katharine Graham (Meryl Streep), and her editor Ben Bradlee (Tom Hanks), as they wrestle with their own cozy relationships with previous and current presidential administrations and the legal, financial, and ethical risks of defying the government. I don't think I've ever seen a more impressive cast, the film is gorgeous and extremely well written and tells a powerful and important story of how vital a free press is to the health of our nation.

Primer (2004)
The string of solid commissioned hits is in full string with one of Jim's favorite movies and A.Ron's soon-to-be favorite, Primer. If you're into noodly time travel plots and engineers talking in fits and starts about really technical stuff like we are, you'll probably love this one. Thanks to Mike Jacyna for his excellent taste in commissions.

The Princess Bride (1987)
where to hide. He's locked in a steel cage match with "The Princess Bride", directed by Rob Reiner and based on the novel of the same name by William Goldman. Confronted by the beautiful faces of Cary Elwes and Robin Wright, the absurdist comedy of Miracle Max, how will he react to this crazy mashup of farce, swashbuckling, and heart? Special thanks to Zan from Melbourne, Barry C from the UK, Allicyn Wilde, Robot-K, Brian S, John H, Stefan G, Mark S, Denise T, Lesley W, Jay R, Ryan L, S Duncan, Geoffry B, pmmonnat, and WeezerWes for banding together and storming the castle. A few links of interest that were mentioned in the podcast…Cary Elwes interview on NPR, Andre the Giant holding a beer can, Andre the Giant with Arnold Schwartzenegger, Andre the Giant being a pimp..., ... again..., ... and one more. Cary Elwes' behind the scenes book "As You Wish", also available in audiobook.

Prometheus (2012)
Our little experiment starts this week as we take a stab at reviewing the new Ridley Scott scifi-horror film, "Prometheus". This is a free bonus cast so you can gauge what you'll get for $1 when we do it "for real" next week. If you've seen the movie, you might want to take a peek at this livejournal review that analyzes some of the deeper themes involved, as Jim and I make reference to it quite a bit in the spoiler section. We have a few format kinks to work out, but you'll broadly recognize the structure. We tell you a bit about the film in a non-spoiler way, talk what we liked, how we think various "types" of fans will react towards the movie, then using the familiar spoiler section we'll delve into the movie in more detail.

Pulp Fiction (1994)
Hey, it's our first ever community commissioned podcast! Thanks to eight intrepid members of the Bald Move community for pitching in and making this podcast happen. Pulp Fiction is a Tarantino classic, starring Sam Jackson, John Travolta, Uma Thurman along with many others. It's funny, it's violent, it's cool as hell, it is watchable as all hell, features a lot of interesting structural and visual details, and offers some of the all time best dialog ever. We love this film, and we hope you all love the podcast. If you want another Bald Move take, check out Eric and Levi's Direct podcast covering Pulp Fiction. Thanks to Tiffany C., Tvollmer89, Brittel23, Davedjhosu, Keith A., Lesleyj42, Coral182, and Moreadgbowser1064 for making this happen!


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Quills (2000)
Special thanks to Karolina Ljungström, who decided to have us take on one of her favorite films, "Quills". "Quills" was released in 2000, and was directed by Phillip Kaufman, and starred Geoffrey Rush, Kate Winslet, Joaquin Phoenix, Michael Caine, and Stephen Moyer. It is a period piece loosely set around the last years of the Marquis de Sade as he languishes in a French asylum for the insane. The film has Jim and A.Ron pondering the role of art in society, how the life choices and artist makes influences how we feel about art, and how madness and genius are related. Thanks again, Karolina, we hope you enjoy your podcast!


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Ready Player One (2018)
We saw Steven Spielberg's 80's nostalgic fun fest, Ready Player One, and we were surprised that it managed to be a good film. We'd heard nothing but shaky things leading up to it, but with our appropriately set expectations, we had a lot of fun with it. It's not perfect, the ending in particular is a bit of a mess, but it works if you want it to work, and if you're in this movie's target demo, you're going to want it to work. Since we're both pretty much at ground zero of that target, we can't say how well it would hold up if you're safely outside the film's nostalgia blast wave.

Red Sparrow (2018)
Tonight Special Guest First Run Movie Goer Cecily and I were supposed to see A Wrinkle in Time, but we were upstaged by A Wrinkle in Ticket Pre-sales, so we called an audible and saw the movie we were supposed to see last week, Red Sparrow. Starring Jennifer Lawrence as a Russian ballerina turned deadly secret agent, and Joel Edgerton as just a dumb*ss American spy it manages to be lurid without being interesting.

Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Special thanks to Steven Sprague, celts77, Laura Hamilton, ztziemke, and Don C for commissioning this podcast, on the 1992 Quintin Tarantino crime drama, Reservoir Dogs. We discuss the writing, the performances, our opinions on the true meaning of Madonna's "Like a Virgin", the insights QT has on crime and society, and debate it's place in the Tarantino pantheon. Thanks again to all of our commissioners, we couldn't do it without you!

Rock of Ages (2012)
Our coverage of the first listener assigned movie, the 80's rock musical extravaganza "Rock of Ages". In this episode, we meet a fan, discuss the trailers we saw, what we thought of the movie, and meditate on Tom Cruise's facility at portraying megalomaniacal super stars and G-rated strip clubs in the spoiler section.

Rocky IV (1985)
Merry Christmas! Jim and I kick off the Bald Move Bad Ass Christmas celebrations for our Club Members with 1985's Rocky IV. What makes Drago v Balboa a holiday film, you ask? Their climactic battle takes place on Christmas day. Plus, there's snow, and pine trees like you wouldn't believe. Very Christmasy. Anyway, this is a great terrible film that might have helped win the Cold War. We discuss the film, it's place in the Rocky pantheon, and behind the scenes tidbits and stories straight from the Sly's mouth. In case you missed it, we Live Watched this thing to, so be sure to check that out.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Jim and A.Ron just got back from seeing a little film called Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, and are actually kind of divided in their opinion of the film. A.Ron hails it as the best Star Wars this side of Empire, while Jim maintains that it just didn't feel like Star Wars enough for him. Both agree that it is a darker, more mature look into the universe that's more known for it's light-hearted swashbuckling space stories than grittier, grimmer looks at the horrors of war.
Father/son Rogue One
A.Ron's son Mine Dragon swung by the studio over the holiday break to record his thoughts on Star Wars: Rogue One, the infamous "Holiday Special" (00:09:20), and Disney's latest CGI masterpiece, Moana. Enjoy!

Roma (2018)
Jim and A.Ron have seen the highly acclaimed Netflix original, "Roma", and we're conflicted. On the one hand, we can see what it's seen as great; it's beautiful to look at, and it's final act is as good as anything you'll see anywhere and is widely accessible. The problem is that it asks you to crawl through 90 minutes tedious and boring and banal moments of everyday life before you get there. Now, that's exactly how real life is, which is probably the point, and probably makes the final act land as well as it does, but it's not going to be something everyone can or is willing to interface with. We think on balance it's worth the effort, but not everyone is going to agree on the math on that.

Run Lola Run (1998)
Hey guys and gals, we have another commissioned podcast, this time from fellow fan Stig Ove Pederson, for the German film, "Lola Rennt", perhaps better known to english speakers as "Run Lola Run". A break out hit for both star Franka Potente ("The Bourne Identity", "The Shield", "The Bridge") and director Tom Tykwer ("Perfume: The Story of a Murderer", "Cloud Atlas"), the movie has a kinetic style, compelling action, and raises questions about causality, determinism, and free will. Thanks again, Stig!


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Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Mr. Justin “Hatorian” K. won a Bald Move fantasy football league, and this was his reward; the selection of the modern classic war movie, "Saving Private Ryan". Directed by Steven Spielberg, and starring every man in Hollywood (Tom Hanks, Matt Damon, Vin Diesel, Bryan Cranston, NATHAN FILLION, Paul Giamatti, among others), it's a pitiless look into the hell that is war. It is also moving, heroic, complex tale of brotherhood, bravery, cowardice, and loss. It's a powerful film that you really must see before partaking of the podcast, but if you've already stormed the beaches of Normandy with Capt. Miller and company, please enjoy the podcast.

Screamers (1995)
Special thanks to Josh Wilson who commissioned the 1995 cult sci-fi movie, "Screamers". Starring Peter "Robocop" Weller, it works as both a goofy b-grade science fiction flick and a semi-serious work based on a short story by no less than Phillip K. Dick. It punches well above it's weight in terms of concept, set, and costume design, but then surrounds Weller with below replacement value actors such as "Poor Man's Bill Paxton" and "Homeless Man's Val Kilmer" with mixed results. Still, it managed to provide both laughs and scares, and we feel we enjoyed it in the spirit it was intended.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Special thanks to Joel Harris, who ordered us up a classic, the 2004 Zomedy, "Shaun of the Dead". Directed by Edgar Wright, and starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, it offers a lot of gore, laughs, and a surprising amount of heart. The guys discuss their history with the film, it's motifs and homages, and where it stacks up against the other films in "the Cornetto trilogy". Thanks again, Joel!

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Special thanks to Hatorian, who by right of conquest in the Bald Move Fantasy Football leagues has won his prize; a commissioned podcast of his choice. He has chosen wisely, selecting the classic 1994 prison/drama/inspirational The Shawshank Redemption. This is a nearly perfect piece of filmmaking, with a confidence in pacing and direction from Frank Darabont matched by the nuanced work of the film's two leads, Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman. We had a lot of fun watching and discussing this one Hatorian. Hopefully, it won't be the longest podcast of your life…

The Shining (1980)
Jim and A.Ron check into the Overlook Hotel as we are compelled to podcast on the 1980 Stanley Kubrick psychological-horror masterpiece, "The Shining". Starring Jack Nicholson and Shelly Duvall, it's an incredible combination of beautifully crafted shots, stunning and terrifying visuals and imagery, and Jack Nicholson's fully insane acting. There is so much to discuss; the film itself, our reactions, Stephen King's antagonism towards the film, the various theories and documentaries the film has spawned, subliminal messages and hidden meanings, and fine naked ladies with implausible afros. All this and more is discussed, and we felt like we hardly scratched the surface. Thanks to Jenny of BrBaFaFe fame, Ryan Lamb, Martin_ORU, PityPity Pyla, Coral182, and Moreadgbowser1064 for pooling their funds together on this commissioned podcast.

Shutter Island (2010)
For this week's commissioned podcast, we got to watch one of the many great collaborations between Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio, the 2010 psychological thriller, Shutter Island. While neither of us think this movie cracks the top 5 of either gentlemen's work, it is an effective film with a pretty good twist, and features a solid Leo performance that drifts into "great" territory later in the film, and has great supporting performances in Ben Kingsley, Mark Ruffalo, Max von Sydow, among many others. Special thanks to our intrepid community commisioners who pooled their resources together to make this podcast happen: Ty, Anne from Cali, portman, shenson90, spacedog128, andrew t., v.westerveld, Moni6626, mjacyna66, laurakm, betmarik, cocoa2mc, lsbgolf77.

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
This commissioned podcast is brought to you by the generosity of one Aaron Spaulding, thank you! Aaron wanted us to check out the 1991 mystery/thriller, "The Silence of the Lambs", directed by Jonathan Demme and starring Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster. It's no surprise that we're mesmerized by Hopkin's performance of the chilling yet suave and charming Dr. Hannibal Lecter, and found the film offered some smart commentary on a female breaking into a male dominated space as well. What might be to some surprise is Jim and A.Ron's relative unfamiliarity with the material, which led to some confusion in places. Hope you enjoy the podcast, I hear it pairs well with a nice Chianti.

Singin’ in the Rain (1952)
Cecily and A.Ron declare March 24th as international Singin' in the Rain Day! Singin' is the greatest Hollywood musical ever devised, and should be seen by everyone that cares about movies as an artform, as well as every human with a beating heart. If you fall into either category, you owe yourself to take a shot of this straight up cinematic heroin. The ultimate pick-me up for a day you're feeling blue, or just want an extra spring to your step. Gene Kelly, Donald O'Conner, and Debbie Reynolds deliver in this film, and what they're delivering is joy.

Skyscraper (2018)
Jim and A.Ron are back with another first run Bald Move, this time taking in The Rock's latest family friendly action flick, "Skyscraper". Die Hard + Towering Inferno = a pretty damn engaging and entertaining action film, smarter than most, and with plenty of heart courtesy Dwayne Johnson's charisma and chemistry with co-star (and fellow badass) Neve Campbell. You're going to be able to predict most beats of the film from the first 10 minutes, but it's still a pleasure to watch Mr. Johnson do his thing. The flaming 220 story building against the dramatic back drop of Hong Kong serves up several great set pieces and looks great doing it.

Snowden (2016)
This week's First Run Bald Movie is Snowden, an Oliver Stone movie about famous/infamous NSA whistleblower/traitor/hero Edward Snowden. We don't think this is the movie that will change anyone's minds about the matter, but we do think the topic of privacy, if not Snowden himself, is vital for discussion, and the film is a food springboard for just that. But, does any of this even matter, will any of it make a difference?

Snowpiercer (2013)
Jim, A.Ron and an 8 year old boy throw down on Interstellar, Snowpiercer, and Big Hero 6. I'll leave it up to you to figure out who talks what.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)
We've seen Solo: A Star Wars Story and… really liked it! Maybe it was low expectations, maybe it's just impossible to hate on Han, Chewie, and Lando dashing around the galaxy doing derring-do (although…), all we know is that we found ourselves grinning like idiots throughout huge chunks of this movie. Maybe you will too? It's hard to tell, I feel like I used to know what a Star Wars fan would like, but after the prequels and The Last Jedi, I just don't know. The big takeaway is that we're both back to being pretty excited to see what kind of storytelling can take place in this universe, which is something we were afraid wasn't possible anymore.

Spectre (2015)
Jim and A.Ron went out over the long weekend and treated themselves to the latest James Bond flick, Spectre. After discussing the experience itself, in which we review our hometown's newest theater experience, the Eastgate Brew and View, we dish on the few charms and big disappointments in Daniel Craig's latest outing on Her Majesty's Service, Craig's place in the 007 pantheon, and our relationship with the series as a whole. Massive spoilers incoming, so if you want to see this unsullied, put this pod on the back burner until you've had a chance to experience it yourself.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Hello, true believers! We have seen Spider-Man: Homecoming, and we pronounce it good. Really, really good. It's kind of amazing how Marvel seems incapable of making anything less than a top level comic book film, and do enough with casting, set piece design, and slight tweaks to their formula to have even cynics like Jim wanting more. Like I said, it's amazing. Spectacular, even. We talk briefly about the greatness of the film in a non-spoiler way, talk a bit about upcoming films, and then get down and dirty with Mr. Parker in the spoiler section. But! You'll have to be a Club Member to get all that goodness. 'Nuff said. Excelsior!

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
We have seen Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, and declare it to be one of, if not the best Spider-Men movies of all time. Amazingly fun, incredibly inspiring, spectacularly stylish, and endlessly imaginative, Spider-Verse expands the franchise in entirely new directions while maintaining the magic that makes Spider-Man great; the moral obligations of an average person who is blessed with great power.

Stargate (1994)
Today's commissioned podcast is on 1994's Stargate — brought to you by Dr. Brandon Devito, official dentist of Bald Move and international man of mystery. Directed by Roland Emmerich and starring Kurt Russell and James Spader, it is a star spanning intergalactic tale of ancient Egyptian themed aliens, slip-shod archaeology, and gun toting shepherd boys. The boys ponder how movies change as we age, Emmerich's professional toolkit, the massive flaws in both Ra's and team Stargate's (SG-1?) plans. A good time is had by all. Thanks again Dr. Devito! Hope you enjoyed your trip down our memory lane with Stargate.

Star Trek: Beyond (2016)
Jim's on vacation, so filling in his spot is Cecily, A.Ron's co-host on the American Horror Story Podcast, True Blood Authority, Penny Earful, and life. A.Ron approaches the film from the perspective of a life long Trek fan, Cecily approaches it more from the casual fan perspective, but both are in agreement that this installment of Trek can best be described as "mediocre". The parts of it that work, really do work, as the effects are top notch and the cast continues to nail their homages to classic Trek characters. It's just that every single other aspect of the film is either generic or poorly executed.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)
Special thanks to Josh "Anubus21" Wilson for the conclusion of his three podcast trilogy (previously Screamers and PCU), Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Arguably the greatest Trek film of all time, and featuring the unquestionably greatest Trek movie villain, Wrath holds up like a champ. Featuring terrifying ear worms, a broad range of quality Shatnerian acting, Chekov screaming, and Ricardo Montalbán's impressive old man chest, we try to look at the film through both critical and nostalgic lenses. Thanks again Josh for your extremely generous support and extremely variable taste in movies!

Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)
May the force be with you, always. Many, many thanks to Andrew Mount for commissioning this podcast using our Subbable site, and effectively PAYING us to WATCH STAR WARS! Oh my god, 11 year old me would lose his MIND if he found out. Jim and I are OG Star Wars fans, and have been BSing about it for literally decades. What do we think of a movie we've seen hundreds of times? How has our fandom changed over the years? What the heck is wrong with Lucas, anyway? The answers to this and much more lie in this podcast. Listen. It is your destiny.

Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Andrew "The Commissioner" Mount "strikes" again from his hidden rebel base, this time forcing us to watch Episode V of the Star Wars saga, "The Empire Strikes Back." Which, incidentally, depending on the age of the A.Ron you ask, is either his favoritist movie of all time, or top three. Either way, it's a treat. Once again, Jim and I try to sort through our childhood and adult memories of this holiest of trilogies to give it the treatment it deserves. If you missed in the first time, or would like to listen again, you can check out our coverage of A New Hope, also brought to you by The Commish. Thanks again Andrew, we appreciate all of your support.

Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983)
Once again commissioner Fernando Rodriguez (you may better know him as FernNYC17 on our forums) steps up with a choice selection, this time the oft maligned Return of the Jedi. Often dismissed as derivative or childish when compared to A New Hope or The Empire Strikes Back respectively, we have nothing but love for the climax of the story of Skywalker. It's got the best space battle, the best lightsabre battle, and the best puppets in all of Star Wars. The Special Edition changes? Not so much love. Note: This podcast was recorded out of order because we needed a live podcast we could do that was accessible and at least semi-family friendly for the Rocket City Nerd Con.

Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015)
Jim and A.Ron have seen the latest Star Wars, and declare it worthy of the name. Don't expect Empire Strikes Back, but if you set your navicomputer expectations somewhere in Return of the Jedi's neighborhood we think you'll have a good time. We give about five minutes of non spoiler review up front, but then get hardcore old school Star Wars nerd talk.

Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi (2017)
Jim and I have seen Star Wars: Episode VIII: The Last Jedi: No More Subtitles, We Promise, and surprise, surprise! One of us like it and one of us wanted to like it more than they actually felt the love. On the other hand, the film is receiving almost universal praise so don't let that dissuade you from seeing and enjoying The Last Jedi. Haha, as if wild falthiers could drag anyone away from seeing a new Star Wars.
The Last Jedi Rewatch
A.Ron went back and saw the newest Star Wars on his holiday break, and has a lot more to say. He turns to life long friend and fellow fan Jim Jones to help him talk through is feelings about the film, and his fears for the future of the franchise. Maybe you feel me, maybe you don't, but I hope you all accept it as my honest analysis of the film.

Star Wars: Holiday Special
A.Ron's son Mine Dragon swung by the studio over the holiday break to record his thoughts on Star Wars: Rogue One, the infamous "Holiday Special" (00:09:20), and Disney's latest CGI masterpiece, Moana. Enjoy!

The Station Agent (2003)
Thanks once again to Andrew "The Commissioner" Mount for ponying up for our coverage of the wonderful 2003 film, "The Station Agent". Staring a murderer's row of Bald Move stars; Peter Dinklage, John Slattery, and Bobby Canavale among others, and directed by The Wire alumnus Thomas McCarthy, it is many things… A slow burn, life affirming, a study of loneliness and isolation, and the effects on being truly different on your perception and interfacing with everyday life. I highly recommend everyone watching it, and it's free on Netflix and Amazon Prime Instant!

Suburbicon (2017)
A.Ron and Cecily went to do a make up review of the Coen Brothers written, George Clooney directed film Suburbicon, and it's not great, Bob. Cecily saw some interesting things with the social commentary and A.Ron is in agreement that the movie was good looking and well acted, but ultimately the movie is pointless, depressing, and disappointing.

Suicide Squad (2016)
Jim and A.Ron saw the latest installment of DC's attempt at bootstrapping a mega-billions interconnected super hero franchise, "Suicide Squad". As an answer to question of who you gonna call when an Evil Superman ever comes calling, we don't think it makes much sense, but we're a bit more divided on the questions of "is it fun?" and "is it entertaining?"

Sully (2016)
It's rare that a disaster movie comes out that isn't completely over wrought, or sensationalized, much less one that is wholly positive and uplifting, but Sully, directed by Clint Eastwood and starring Tom Hanks at his Tom Hanksiest, is just such a movie. Even our podcast's automatic pilot system, Jim Jones, was occasionally moved by the gritty depiction of everyday heroism that can not only save 155 souls, but unite a country in a sense of admiration, gratitude, and good will. Plus, we talk crap about new trailers and the unruly elderly audience we enjoyed this film with.

The Sweet Hereafter (1997)
Special thanks to listener Ali who commissioned this podcast through our Subbable subscription system! Jim and A.Ron check out the award winning 1997 film, "The Sweet Hereafter", which is based on the novel of the same name by author Russell Banks, and is directed by Canadian filmmaker Atom Egoyan. It stars Ian Holm (Lord of the Rings, Alien, Fifth Element) and Bruce Greenwood (Thirteen Days, Star Trek, Capote) among others. It is an extraordinary film, quiet with sadness and desperation, set in a small Canadian town that has recently suffered a tragic blow when a school bus accident claims the lives of several children. When a lawyer steps forward to offer justice and compensation to the mourning residents, he meets varying levels of cooperation and resistance. We hope you enjoy our take, and thanks again Ali!


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Teeth (2007)
Special thanks to podcast commissioner Julie Webster for pulling the trigger on the Mitchell Lichtenstein film, "Teeth", starring Jess Weixler. It is a frequently funny, sometimes creepy, yet often insightful look at the mythology behind vagina dentata, or "toothed vagina". This movie has severed peen for days, ya'll. They guys spend the better part of an awkward hour discussing the film and related topics, hope you enjoy!

Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
Congratulations to Nick Wilson, winner of one of two official "Bald Move Fantasy Football Leagues" that our forums play host to. His grand prize was a commissioned podcast, which we are pleased to present during Superbowl week. Nick picked a real crowd pleaser, Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Featuring ground breaking special effects, a sci-fi plot that doesn't give two craps about causality, and Arnold Schwarzenegger at the height of his powers, the movie delivers the action goods, and then some. We discuss time travel, great movie villains, where this movie stacks up in the pantheon of sequels, and much more. Congrats once more, Nick!

There Will Be Blood (2007)
This Bald Movie Commissioned Podcast is for Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood, starring Daniel Day-Lewis and Paul Dano. It was made possible by the following people, who pooled their funds together to make this community commission possible. Special thanks to Elina V., Ryan Q., Mike M., BritBandicoot, Dcaine68, Latent K, TheWilliam85, Jaimie T., Alex M, Geraud DeL, Dmkolls, and Dplowery. With that said, this movie is incredible. The acting is on another level, the visuals are gorgeous, the story imminently watchable. If you've seen the movie, you know how incredibly intimidating drinking milkshakes can be, and if you haven't, you'll soon find out.

The Thing (1982)
Special thanks once again to Sean Ray for commissioning thus podcast for the 1982 John Carpenter sci-fi/horror classic, The Thing. The location, sense of isolation and paranoia, and atmosphere of dread this film is able to generate is incredible. Kurt Russel is iconic in his role as everyman bad*ss. And the gruesome, disturbing practical effects work still effectively sells the horrific alien action. Thanks for another great commission, Sean!

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Jim and A.Ron have seen Thor: Ragnarok and let us be the millionth person to tell you that it is fun and colorful. There isn't much else there, but, you know, but director Taika Waititi ensured that it's really fun and really colorful. It asks some big questions about Thor, and Odin, and even the Hulk, but isn't really interested in the answers. It's not a bad thing, because it is really, really fun. Cate Blanchett is clearly enjoying being a vampy big bad with a flair for irony and the dramatic, Jeff Goldblum is a delight as an eccentric gladiatorial slave owner. The premise and resolution are quite clever. We just are a little puzzled at some of the over the top early buzz hailing it as the new benchmark for comic book movies.

The Toxic Avenger (1984)
Merry Christmas, Jason Miller! Your wife, Aime thought it would be a nice present to commission you a pair of podcasts to open beneath the tree. This is one of them, 1984's cult horror classic, "The Toxic Avenger". Directed by Michael Herz and "starring" Mitch Cohen, Mark Torgl, Andree Maranda, it's a work of pure cinematic insanity of over the top and cheaply filmed gore, sex, violence, and sexual violence. We discuss Troma films in general, pollution, dick punching, and much more as we attempt to review a movie that defies criticism. We hope you enjoyed your presents, Jason, and thanks again to Aime for commissioning them!

Transformers: The Movie (1986)
Amee Miller commissioned Transformers the Movie as a Christmas present for her beloved husband Jason. Featuring the voice talents of Leonard Nimoy, Orsen Wells, Petter Cullen, and Scatman Crothers, the movie certainly lives up to it's billing as "beyond your wildest imagination." For example, I'd never imagine an underwater chase scene involving muscle cars, mentally challenged dinosaur robots leading a populist revolt against injustice, a microscope being used as a telescope, or Weird Al Yankovic's "Dare to Be Stupid" being used in an all-robot dance number. Maybe my imagination is broken or something. Anyway, hope you enjoyed your first Christmas present, Jason! Thanks to Amee for commissioning it, and a very Merry Christmas to you both.

Tron: Legacy (2010)
Hey guys, I was digging through our archives and I found a few other movie reviews we did over the past few years. Some of them were bonus-only for the forums we used to have, so they haven't previously been available. I don't know if there is any interest in them, but I didn't want to lose them either, so I'm posting them here for posterity. It's also an interesting glimpse into the evolution of our podcasts…

True Grit (2010)
Hey guys, I was digging through our archives and I found a few other movie reviews we did over the past few years. Some of them were bonus-only for the forums we used to have, so they haven't previously been available. I don't know if there is any interest in them, but I didn't want to lose them either, so I'm posting them here for posterity. It's also an interesting glimpse into the evolution of our podcasts…

Twin Peaks (1990)
This community commissioned podcast is for the 1990 television series, Twin Peaks. Created Mark Frost and David Lynch, we can only imagine the impact this had on audiences 30 years ago as 30 million Americans obsessively tuned in every week to answer the question, "who killed Laura Palmer?" Jim ultimately doesn't like it, but I see it's potential and got a lot of enjoyment from the crazy tonal swings and quirky, off beat nature. Also, lots of beautiful and interesting people on screen constantly, which always helps. Special thanks to all our community commissioners, Shayne Bowman (of Film Schlubs and Heisenberg Chronicles), Georgia, Adam Pastory, Wes Stephens, Lacloake, Amie Miller, Cory, stefan.gustafsson , amarra, medelliae, betmarik, cocoa2mc, josh.rickard, dan, and RR Lamb for pooling their resources and making this podcast happen!


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Unforgiven (1992)
Thanks to Sean Ray for commissioning the classic 1992 western, "Unforgiven". Directed by and starring a perfectly-aged Clint Eastwood, the story has him reconciling the man he was in his drunken youth with the man he wants to be, and more importantly, the man his dead wife would have him be. Where does he come down on it? It's a classic so you probably already know but one of us didn't and the discussion is interesting.


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Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)
Jim and A.Ron checked out the latest Netflix original film, "Velvet Buzzsaw". Directed by Dan Gilroy (Nightcrawler) and starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Rene Russo. It functions well enough as a horror story, a farcical look at art criticism, as well as an introspective look at the creative process and the related critical process. We have quibbles here and there, but the film looks great, has some inventive/gruesome deaths, and the main cast has a lot of fun being terrible people.

The Voices (2014)
Julie Webster of "Teeth" commissioning fame/infamy is back again with another movie to bend our noodles. This one a criminally overlooked Ryan Reynolds movie, "The Voices". Under the direction of Academy Award winner Marjane Satrapi, and joined by co-star Anna Kendrick, Reynolds really comes out swinging as a poorly understood young man with non-existant social skills just trying to find happiness in life. Unfortunately, for reasons both nature and nurture, his search is in vain, and the movie spirals down an ever increasing dark path. An impressive movie, and one worth watching if you don't think Ryan Reynolds is capable of any kind of nuanced, interesting work. Just be warned, this movie is pitch black, and very uncomfortable in places. Thanks again Julie, that was an extremely interesting experience, and a great find.


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Waking Life (2001)
Special thanks to Michael Kessler for using Subbable to commission his very own custom Podcast! But we're getting ahead of ourselves… Is this a podcast? Is it a dream? Will it's connected consciousness evolve in a more enlightened, compassionate, sharing direction, or will it just want set itself on fire, scream into a megaphone to empty streets, or cut off eyelids and put out cigars on eyeballs? Do you dream? Do you remember your dreams? Can you dream lucidly? Have you ever been stuck in a dream? Jim and A.Ron ponder all this and more in a very trippy recap to a very trippy movie/experience, Richard Linklater's 2001, "Waking Life".

Watchmen (2009)
Special thanks to two time Commissioner Andrew Mount for tasking us with the pleasure of watching Watchmen, a 2009 Zack Snyder adaptation of the classic comic book series by Alan Moore. We both love the movie, and talk about our experiences with the comic and the movie, the metaphysical realities of being Doctor Manhattan, the philosophy of the Watchmen's world view, and of course, giant glowing blue dongs. Again, thank you very much Andrew!

The Way of the Gun (2000)
Much thanks to Nick Knol for commissioning the 2000 Christopher McQuarrie film, "The Way of the Gun", starring Ryan Phillippe, Benicio del Toro, and Juliette Lewis. As dark, gritty, violent, funny, post-Tarantino quasi-western fable, we found a lot to enjoy, but wondered if the plot was too convoluted for it's own good. In this we discuss questionable obstetrics, geriatric hitmen, and our inner outlaws. Thanks again, Nick!

What Dreams May Come (1998)
Fernando Rodriguez is back for another commission! This time he selected 1998's What Dreams May Come, starring Robin Williams, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Annabella Sciorra. Directed by Vincent Ward, and based on a story by Richard Matheson, the movie features an incredible vision of what the afterlife may be like, as it follows a family struck again and again by sudden tragedy. Oh, and we debate spirituality and our thoughts on death. One of us cried during our watch. You'll never guess which!

The Wicker Man (2006)
Special thanks to David Pavlicko and the ProjectorPeople.com for commissioning this very "special" movie, the Nicolas Cage remake of The Wicker Man. This movie is perhaps the epitome of the genre of "crazy ass Nick Cage movies". It makes no sense, it gives Mr. Cage an excuse to act progressively more and more insane, leading up to the incredible third act which sees him reduced to screaming at Maximum Cage levels, while, for example, having thousands of bees poured down his throat. It's breathtaking, really. Thanks again, David! Hard to believe it took us this long to review a Nicolas Cage vehicle, but we're glad you had us do it. Required viewing for this podcast: Cage Does Cage, and Nicolas Cage Loses His Shit.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
Josh Wilson from North Carolina has commissioned yet another movie! This time he selected the psychedelic and family friendly (?!) 1971 Gene Wilder classic, "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." What's going on with Charlie's grandparents? Is his grandpa a coke fiend? Do the Umpa Lumpa have free will? Why is chewing gum considered a personal flaw? Why does Charlie get a free pass for stealing fizzy lifting drinks? And what business does Quaker Oats have making movies, anyway? All this and much more are considered.

Wonder Woman (2017)
Hey everybody! DC has made a good post-Nolan superhero movie! Wonder Woman isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but Patty Jenkins directs Gal Gadot as a powerful avenging war goddess striding across the battlefield, but instills the heroine with enough human-scaled heart to keep us emotionally engaged. The film looks and sounds great, and Chris Pine is very good as a gender-bent damsel in various distress.


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X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)
It's that time again, time for Jim and A.Ron to review the latest comic book movie! This up is Bryan Singer's latest; X-Men Apocalypse. The big problem with this film is that it's just an okay comic book film, and we just don't think that's good enough in a world where there's six multi-million dollar comic boom films per year, especially in a year with Deadpool and Captain America 3. Your mileage may vary, depending on how big a comic book fan you are, in particular how big of an X-Men fan you are.


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Zulu (1964)
Special thanks to Glenn Seubert for commissioning this podcast on the 1964 British film "Zulu". Directed by Cy Endfield and starring Stanley Baker and a very young Michael Caine, it depicts a fictionalized version of a real life stand off between 100 British soldiers and 4,000 Zulu warriors in the battle for South Africa. The film is gorgeous in it's look and especially color palette, and the lead performances by Baker and Caine are interesting as two soldiers vying for power and making tough decisions under an extremely daunting challenge. We both cry out for more cultural and historical context for this film, and while Jim had problems with some aspects of the film being dated, I enjoyed it for the throw back to a classic age of cinema that it is. Thanks again, Glenn, we really appreciate your support and sharing a beloved classic with us.

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